Tag Archives: Picturehouse

SCREENWASH – ONE-LINER FILM REVIEWS #2 – February 2018!

SCREENWASH – ONE-LINER FILM REVIEWS #2

Aside from my longer, pretentious and pontificating reviews I also like to chuck in a few quick-fire posts for films I’ve watched on cable, satellite TV, catch-up, DVD and cinema over the past few months. Think of them as movie reviews for the attention deficient or for the lazy bastards like me, who from time to time, skim-read before catching the mark at the bottom. As usual I accompany the reviews with marks out of eleven.

BLOOD TIES (2013) – FILM FOUR

Very solid 1970s set crime drama boasts an excellent cast including: Clive Owen, Billy Crudup and Marion Cotillard. (Mark: 7.5 out of 11)

Image result for blood ties

CLOVERFIELD PARADOX (2018) – NETFLIX

Brilliant ensemble cast propel this sub-Star-Trek-story that’s been crow-barred into the Cloverfield franchise. (Mark: 5.5 out of 11)

THE COMMUNE (2016) – SKY TV CINEMA

Thomas Vinterberg directs this appealing slice of ‘70s Swedish life as a group of adults attempt to find “perfect” living within a commune situation. (Mark: 8 out of 11)

THE CURE FOR WELLNESS (2016) – SKY TV CINEMA

Overblown, overdone and overlong gothic horror finds Dane DeHaan struggling against evil doctors and an even more unbalanced screenplay. (Mark: 6 out of 11)

DAVID BRENT: LIFE ON THE ROAD (2017) – NETFLIX

Ricky Gervais is on funny form as the deluded David Brent, as the Office ‘star’ goes on the road trying to gain fame as a pop star. (Mark: 7.5 out of 11)

Image result for DAVID BRENT LIFE ON THE ROAD

DAZED AND CONFUSED (1993) – SKY TV CINEMA

Richard Linklater’s brilliantly orchestrated end-of-school-year-stoner-comedy features an incredible cast of soon-to-be-famous actors!  (Mark: 8 out of 11)

DRIFTER (AKA DETOUR) (2016) –  SKY TV CINEMA

Horrifically poor and uneven Mad-Max-Texas-Chainsaw rip off which while very stylish is completely unwatchable with unlikeable characters. (Mark: 3 out of 11)

FRANTZ (2016) – SKY TV CINEMA

This touching WW2 set love story, shot on crisp black and white and deftly directed by Francois Ozon, breaks and mends one’s heart in equal measures. (Mark: 8 out of 11)

IN A VALLEY OF VIOLENCE (2016) – SKY TV CINEMA

Ethan Hawke excels in an offbeat, violent revenge Western which fails dramatically because of the irritating villain and over-familiar plot. (Mark: 6 out of 11)

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD (2017) – SKY TV CINEMA

Guy Ritchie’s take on the Camelot legend suffers a total personality breakdown; neither committing fully to Charlie Hunnam’s geezer-King-Arthur (good) or the swords and sorcery subplots (bad!). (Mark: 6.5 out of 11)

LOVING (2016) – SKY CINEMA

Ruth Negga and Joel Edgerton are never less than brilliant in their performances as a mixed race couple battling the racist law which strives to keep them apart. (Mark: 8.5 out of 11)

Image result for LOVING POSTER

LOVELESS (2017) – PICTUREHOUSE CENTRAL – CINEMA

Raising bleakness to the level of poetry, this tragic Russian ‘missing child’ thriller is expertly constructed, but features two of the most selfish characters I’ve ever experienced in a movie. (Mark: 8 out of 11)

MY BEAUTIFUL LAUNDERETTE (1985) – BFI BLU RAY

Classic 1980s British drama written by Hanif Kureishi features Daniel Day Lewis in an early role finds cultures, sexuality and politics clashing in dirty old South London. (Mark: 8 out of 11)

THE POST (2017) – WIMBLEDON ODEON – CINEMA

Steven Spielberg’s worthy freedom-of-speech drama is wonderfully shot and acted but felt too subtle and dramatically under-cooked for such an important moment in American history. (Mark: 7 out of 11)

SULLIVANS’ TRAVELS (1941) – SKY TV CINEMA

Preston Sturges brilliant comedy combines slapstick, romance and social satire as Joel McCrea’s pampered film director attempts to find the “meaning of life” in depression-hit America. (Mark: 10 out of 11)

Image result for SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS POSTER

WAKE IN FRIGHT (1971) – FILM FOUR

Cult existential Aussie psychological thriller finds Gary Bond’s English teacher attempting to escape his pitiful lot but falling further and further into a nightmarish outback abyss.  (Mark: 8 out of 11)

CINEMA REVIEW: THE LOST CITY OF Z (2017)

CINEMA REVIEW: THE LOST CITY OF Z (2017)

TITLE: THE LOST CITY OF Z (2017)

DIRECTOR: James Gray 

SCREENWRITER:  James Gray (based on the non-fiction book by David Grann)

CAST:  Charlie Hunnam, Robert Pattinson, Sienna Miller, Tom Holland, Angus Macfadyen

**MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**

the_lost_city_of_z_still

I’m not a great traveller myself. Boats and trains aren’t too bad but I can’t stand flying. If I feel the need to experience the world I am more than happy to either Google a place or vicariously familiarise myself with other worlds and cultures by absorbing it through TV or indeed at the cinema. Moreover, stories about explorers, adventurers, mountain climbers, adrenaline junkies and the like are not always my favourite kind of sub-genre film. Obviously, if it is a story well told then I am open to all genres but more often than not the obsessive and narcissistic characters in pursuit of thrills or far flung places can leave me cold. Not so with James Gray’s epic adaptation of The Lost City of Z which focuses on soldier, surveyor and explorer Percy Fawcett’s dogged search for definitive archaeological proof of a historical Amazonian civilisation.

lost_city

The story begins at the turn of the 20th Century where Percy Fawcett (Hunnam) is a mid-ranked officer in the British Army. Keen to find some serious military action he’s disappointed to be given the job of surveying and mapping the uncharted borders of Bolivia and Brazil. Accompanying him is his guide and aide-de-camp Henry Costin (Pattinson) and what begins as a punishing journey into the heart of darkness becomes, over the course of the film and subsequent expeditions, an obsessive ‘Holy Grail’ type quest for Fawcett. The drama in the jungle gives us Fawcett’s encounters with: the elements, piranhas, rapids, illness, wild animals, starvation, dehydration, cannibal natives and even an Opera concert at a plantation deep in the forest. However, the conflict back in Blighty is just as resonating as Fawcett battles the naysayers who question his belief that the indigenous tribes may have been in anyway civilised or cultured. Indeed, as a historical critique of the old British Empire and their inherent racism the film makes some interesting points.

lost


I watched the film at the Picturehouse Central on a 35mm print and it really added to the old-fashioned, poetic and golden feel of this attractive sprawling epic.  Charlie Hunnam, Robert Pattinson, Tom ‘new Spiderman’ Holland and Sienna Miller all provide excellent performances. Hunnam – who I know from his sterling work on Sons of Anarchy – stood out especially and given the right script choices he’s likely to become a bona fide movie star. His Fawcett is a complex, confident but honest man who, while obsessed with his pursuit of the Lost City, loves his family and stands on the side of the righteous. The director James Gray and his filmmaking team, above all else, deserve special mention for delivering a beautifully shot, acted, paced and edited historical drama. Indeed, this fascinating material deserved more screen time and it was so mesmeric I could easily have watched this film for hours.     (Mark: 9 out of 11)

TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU #4 – THE CINEMA

TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU #4 – THE CINEMA

Following on from my rants about movie hair, “found footage” films and Zack Snyder the fourth entry in this series is about (drum roll please. . . ) what I hate at the CINEMA! Indeed, as this blog will testify I love the cinema and I LOVE FILMS!!  As often affirmed I am not a religious person yet the cinema is the closest I get to a place of worship for me. However, there are some things I HATE about the cinema-going experience, so, I thought it would be fun to have a rant about it. I mean it’s easy disrespecting things you DON’T like such as: politicians, minor celebrities, cancer, self-service checkout machines, war, Piers Morgan and death! But how about having a go at something I DO like. So, here goes!  Ten things I hate about the cinema. Enjoy!

2016_10THINGS_I_HATE

#1 – PEOPLE

People generally piss me off at the cinema. I am a reasonably thoughtful person but when I go to the cinema I become a very selfish. I basically start to hate people. Especially if they are: in the way, talking, in the queue, in the toilet and breathing. I recall when I was a student, I loved going to the cinema for the first screening of the day because there was hardly anyone about.  One of my greatest memories is when I saw The Shadow (1994) starring Alec Baldwin.  THERE WAS NO ONE IN THE SCREENING at ALL!!  That was my idea of heaven. Not a great film but a wonderful cinema memory.

#2 – TALKING

People who chat during the film SHOULD BE banned forever! In fact a law should be introduced that there’s NO talking from the trailers onwards.  If you do you are forcibly removed from the screening room.  I go to the cinema to escape reality; YOU or YOUR MATE’S voice-words are reality so SHUT THE FUCK UP!  If you want to have a conversation piss-off to a pub or a shop or a busy road and PLAY IN THE TRAFFIC. Anywhere but the cinema I am in!

#3 – PHONES

Dear People, who use their phones at the cinema: see above! You ARE CUNTS!

#4 – CONFECTIONERY

ALL CONFECTIONERY SHOULD BE BANNED WHEN THE FILM STARTS. The rustling and crisping and slurping is TOO annoying for words. What is it with the cinema and NOT eating beforehand!?  Eat BEFORE!  I guess there’s some Freudian reason for stuffing over-priced popcorn, sugar and crisps into your gobs in the dark.  If it’s an action-based film it’s not so bad as the sound of the film will drown it out. But in a drama which is character and dialogue based then the opening and rustling of packets drives me mad; especially when the people TRY TO BE QUIET!  By trying to be quiet in a dead silent environment only heightens the noise you mug!

#5 – COST

While we’re on the subject of food, let’s face it: the price of popcorn is ridiculous. At present inflation is at an all-time low but NOT for cinema food. For what you get POPCORN is more expensive than COCAINE! And cocaine’s probably better for you. The price of food and drink at the cinema makes motorway service station prices look like Poundland.  Also, I’ve seen a growing trend of so-called shopping ‘tasters’ at the ice cream stand. These cheapskates should be shot!! If you don’t know what the taste of cold-processed-sugared-crap is by now then just die!  IT TASTES OF CHEMICALS and SUGAR!

 #6 – PUNCTUALITY

GET TO THE FILM ON FUCKING TIME! I’ve made it on time! I am comfortable and have to get up, or have my view blocked, because you’re late. You shouldn’t be allowed in; especially if the film has started!  There’s no excuse people – NO EXCUSE!

#7 – TRAILERS!

More and more trailers are just a summary of the WHOLE film! This is lazy! An example of a terrible trailer was a film called Fast Girls (2012) which essentially gave the WHOLE PLOT away in chronological order. Even Oscar winners Spotlight (2015) and Argo (2012) chose key dialogue scenes which span out the spine of the film and left nothing to the experience. I also lament the loss of the Voiceover Guy. I loved that guy; he really raised the sense of suspense or horror. To me a trailer should suggest and create intrigue rather give away the story or even mislead the audience. Indeed, the trailer for Sweeney Todd (2007) had NO musical numbers in it even though IT WAS A MUSICAL!  Now HERE’S A PROPER TRAILER!

#8 – HEGEMONY

I like a decent blockbuster but the hegemonic domination of the multiplexes means smaller films don’t often get a chance. I used to love repertory cinemas such as the Scala in King’s Cross (which is now a nightclub and live music venue) but alas these cinemas are a dying breed. We do have Prince Charles which is great but even some independents are NOT truly independent like the PICTUREHOUSE chain, as they are owned by Cineworld. I’m probably just being nostalgic for a non-capitalist dream but it just irks me when a Marvel or Disney film is released on ALL the screens at the same time and smaller films vanish rapidly; lost in the huge capitalist machine that is greed.

#9 – ADVERTISING

Slowly but surely a film programme is getting longer and longer!!   Showtime is advertised at 7.00pm but the film doesn’t start until fucking midnight. I’ve paid NOT to see adverts! To me it should be THREE adverts and THREE trailers and that’s it!!  Plus the adverts get shown AFTER the TRAILERS too – THERE’S NO ESCAPE!  I accept adverts, like politics, are a necessary evil in society but they’re STILL EVIL!  If I pay £13 for a cinema ticket I’ve paid for the privilege of NOT being eye-punched to death by advertising.  The amount of advertising actually makes me nostalgic for Pearl & Dean. Oh, for the good old days!

#10 – NOT THE CINEMA!

Basically, I know people are broke and the cinema is expensive but if you watch a BIG BLOCKBUSTER film on an illegal download – THEN YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT!! I realise Hollywood isn’t going broke anytime soon and you’re probably NOT funding terrorism but you are disrespecting the cinema – so GO TO THE CINEMA!!  Just don’t do any of the above THINGS I’ve listed above, and as long as you don’t go when I go, then go watch a movie where it’s meant to be seen! Not on an Iphone or a Tablet but at THE CINEMA!  OBEY!