13 HORROR FILMS FOR CHRISTMAS!
Dear Reader,
As an alternative to the usual Christmas films that are on our TVs, streaming platforms and cinemas now, I have spent the last few weeks watching many recent horror film releases. Like a big, black Christmas stocking I present to you some quick reviews of said bloody entertainment with the usual marks out of 11.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family!
BIRDBOX BARCELONA (2023)
Spanish sequel to the Netflix original and it’s not quite as good. Some excellent filmmaking and deadly set-pieces are hamstrung by poor structure and over-familiarity with the central alien-suicide concept. The themes of religion, sacrifice and guilt are well explored and the pacey death rate make it worth watching though.
Mark: 6.5 out of 11
BULL (2021)
Brutal British B-movie with Neil Maskell on deadly form as a vengeful career criminal killing off his former gang members after they left him for dead. There are better revenge films out there, but there is some bone-crushing gore to please horror fans like me.
Mark: 6 out of 11
THE CLOVEHITCH KILLER (2018)
Slow-paced but suspenseful rites-of-passage-horror with Charlie Plummer’s teenager suspecting his father (Dylan McDermott) may be a notorious serial killer. Inspired by the evil crimes of BTK murderer, Dennis Rader, this compels throughout until the slightly unbelievable ending.
Mark: 7.5 out of 11
CONTAINMENT (2015)
Low-budget British horror-thriller set in a tower block during a viral outbreak and deadly lock-down. A prescient and chilling film which finds authorities attempting to stop the contagion by all means necessary. Some nail-biting suspense ensues and decent ensemble cast drive a film where chaos and paranoia feel all too familiar to recent global events.
Mark: 7.5 out of 11
EL CONDE (2023)
Pablo Larrain’s horror-comedy-satire is based around a very funny one-joke premise. The gag is Chilean dictator General Pinochet was in fact a blood-sucking vampire draining the life out of the common people. After a really powerful and amusing opening twenty minutes, the film devolves into a Pinochet family drama that runs out of steam until the frankly insane ending which has to be seen to be believed.
Mark: 7 out of 11
EVIL DEAD RISE (2023)
Some fantastically horrific and bloody gore cannot save this Evil Dead reboot/sidequel from feeling both redundant and unnecessary. Contrived plot, paper-thin characters and so badly lit I could hardly see anything. I recommend you watch the original films or the series Ash versus Evil Dead instead, with the awesome Bruce Campbell kicking Deadite ass!
Mark: 6 out of 11
INFINITY POOL (2023)
Another off-the-chart offering from Brandon Cronenberg after the spectacularly grim sci-fi horror of Possessor (2020). Infinity Pool similarly deals with themes of alienation, identity and duality as a writer, portrayed by Alexander Skarsgard, ends up on the holiday from hell. With obnoxious characters and a screeching Mia Goth going full gonzo I almost turned this film off, but such is the misery heaped upon the privileged James Foster, I eventually felt sorry for this tortured narcissistic soul. Trippy and bloody thrills contrast the luxury of the beautiful coastal resort with Cronenberg convincing us there is only ever trouble in paradise.
Mark: 8 out of 11
LUTHER: FALLEN SUN (2023)
Idris Elba returns in this big budget Netflix film version of the BBC maverick cop drama. Stylish, moody and effective thriller with a scenery-chewing turn by Andy Serkis as the nemesis from hell. Favours pace and action over plot consistency, Elba is always excellent value for money even if the Luther character has always been quite slight. Serkis’ fiendish plan is written for shock value rather than actually making any sense.
Mark: 7 out of 11.
PEARL (2022)
Prequel to Ti West’s porno horror X (2022) (see mini-review below), this establishes the early years of Mia Goth’s eponymous anti-heroine, Pearl. As a young woman in 1918 she dreams of escaping and becoming a silent movie star. Yet her dominant mother cannot contain the passionate darkness within Pearl. I much preferred this stylish period and character horror to the exploitative and nasty X (2022). There remains much gruesome violence here but Mia Goth finally convinces me as Pearl, delivering one the best film monologues I have seen in some time.
Mark: 8 out of 11.
RENFIELD (2023)
This vampire story from the point-of-view of the familiar, Renfield, contains the most horrific filmmaking in the very worst way. With a hopeless script, terrible acting and bad CGI it wastes the talent of Nicholas Hoult and Awkwafina. While I expected Nicolas Cage’s Dracula to be over-the-top, the film direction is so tonally awful that I have to say this is one of the worst films I have seen all year.
Mark: 3 out of 11
THANKSGIVING (2023)
A very effective by-the-numbers grind-house slasher film from Eli Roth. Set around the eponymous American holiday period, a masked killer starts murdering a small town’s occupants a year after a Black Friday sale turns into a mall riot. The functional script and generic teenagers lack the spark of the classic Scream (1996), however, Thanksgiving (2023) has some highly imaginative murder scenes, with Roth respecting both the genre and audience. A bit more social satire about greedy capitalism would have raised my mark.
Mark: 7.5 out of 11.
VIOLENT NIGHT (2022)
Die Hard (1988) is NOT a Christmas movie, but a film set AT Christmas. Here Norwegian genre movie director, Tommy Wirkola, unofficially remakes Die Hard/Die Hard 2 (1990), with Santa (David Harbour) replacing John McClane fighting criminals and mercenaries robbing a rich businesswoman’s house. Wirkola made an even better version of the violent home invasion comedy in The Trip (2021). But this rattles along, rings a lot of bells and crunches enough calcium and funny bones to make it worth a watch. David Harbour as Saint Nick sleighs us with his usual fine character acting work.
Mark: 7.5 out of 11.
X (2022)
I know he is a very well respected low-budget film director, and I should like Ti West’s work. Yet, for some reason, I have never enjoyed his previous horrors or Western that much. I feel like his previous films lack pace, contain unsympathetic characters and his horrors lack actual suspense. X (2022) finds a number of unlikable characters setting out to make a porno film on a rural farm, only to encounter danger lurking in the woods, lake and the farmhouse. I really wanted to enjoy this more than I did because Ti West has such control over exploitative material that delivers some genuinely sickening moments of horror. Mia Goth is the standout and West certainly casts her imaginatively, but I just did not connect with this expertly made Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) homage.
Mark: 6.5 out of 11.
The Cinema Fix presents 