Tag Archives: Zawe Ashton

VELVET BUZZSAW (2019) – NETFLIX FILM REVIEW

VELVET BUZZSAW (2019) – NETFLIX FILM REVIEW

Written and directed by: Dan Gilroy

Produced by: Jennifer Fox

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo, Toni Collette, Tom Sturridge, John Malcovich, Zawe Ashton, Daveed Diggs, Billy Magnussen, Natalia Dyer etc.

Picture the scene: a starving child in Africa passively stares at a camera while a fly irritates their big sad eyes, and they do not know when their next meal is coming from. Meanwhile, in a New York auction house a painting by Cezanne or Gauguin or Picasso is selling for over $200 million dollars! What the fuck is wrong with the world?!  I’m not saying these paintings aren’t great art it’s just that there is NO WAY that amount of money should be paid for a painting when there is starvation, disease, and poverty in the world. It’s just an indictment of the sickness of humanity, that we place such value on what effectively amounts to canvas and paint placed in a particular manner by some dead person. It’s utter madness!!

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON SO-CALLED MODERN ART!!

Yeah, sure, maybe I DON’T GET IT!! Maybe one should be allowed to express themselves from a creative and emotional perspective but THEY ALSO WANT PRAISE FOR IT!!! And MONEY! And adulation! Of course, certain painters, sculptors and creative types expressing themselves can become a transcendental experience but mostly it’s a bunch of pretentious wankers conning us into thinking what they are doing is important. Come the fictitious revolution occuring in my imagination, most modern artists will be on the hypothetical spikes adorning the made-up barricades.

Tony Gilroy’s third film Velvet Buzzsaw (2019) taps into some of the ire I feel for the art world. It’s full of fake plastic and unlikable characters who spend their days stabbing and fucking each other in the back, all trying to sell us the next big fat artistic lie. When a never-famous painter dies his work becomes a cause celebre and further in-fighting ensues in an attempt to monetize his apparent genius. Jake Gyllenhaal leads an impressive ensemble cast as arsehole critic, Morf Vandewalt; while Rene Russo, Toni Collette, Tom Sturridge, John Malcovich and Zawe Ashton revel in their narcissitic and parasitic roles as agents, artists and art-whores.

Ultimately, this is a very broad comedic satire with some decent horror deaths thrown in. At times I felt like it should have been shot with a cast of unknowns on 16mm film, rather than the A-list hi-definition gloss presented. Firmly in the B-movie territory of say Final Destination and Driller Killer, it’s neither scary or bloody enough to make a convincing horror or gorefest. Having said that there are some fantastic deaths, very witty dialogue and memorable images throughout. Lastly, Gilroy’s work has kind of gone backwards since his phenomenal debut Nightcrawler, and this, without wishing to sound like a pretentious critic, is certainly a very minor work. Overall, though I enjoyed the coruscating digs at the modern art-world and all the arseholes who inhabit it; so that made it well worth a watch.

Mark: 7.5 out of 11

SIX OF THE BEST #6 – ACTORS TO PLAY THE NEXT DOCTOR WHO!

SIX OF THE BEST #6 – ACTORS TO PLAY THE NEXT DR. WHO!

In my occasional series called Six of the Best, I select six of something or other which I like the best. So here goes with six of the best actors who I personally would love to play the next Doctor Who!  Obviously, they won’t play the Doctor at the same time but if they were chosen they would be great choices.

As a big Doctor Who fan I reviewed the show many times on this blog and the next choice of everyone’s favourite time-traveller will be an interesting one. The new showrunner will be Chris Chibnall of Broadchurch fame so I look forward to his choice. The bookies odds are currently:

Latest Doctor Who Betting

Phoebe Waller-Bridge – Evens
Natalie Dormer – 4/1
Kris Marshall – 5/1
Tilda Swinton – 5/1
Michaela Coel – 7/1
David Harewood – 8/1
Richard Rankin – 10/1

tilda

Personally, I’m not warming to any of these choices other than Tilda Swinton that is. So, these are my preferred choices:

Reece_Shearsmith

REECE SHEARSMITH

The star of:  The League of Gentlemen (2000), Psychoville (2009), Inside No. 9 (2014), Chasing Shadows (2014) and many many more, is my number one pick. He has the humour, versatility and dark spirit needed for the role of Doctor!

oliviacolman

OLIVIA COLMAN

Given her experience of working with Chris Chibnall on Broadchurch, Colman would be an appropriate choice. She has a wealth of acting roles behind her in both comedic and dramatic roles and is just a brilliant actress.

helenmccrory

HELEN McCRORY

An actress of immense quality and charisma, McCrory would bring a sophistication and Gothic heart to the role of the ancient Gallifreyan. She has also been a villain in a previous Doctor Who episode but I can forgive her given she has an excellent acting CV.

Rory-Kinnear-Doctor-Who

RORY KINNEAR

He was bookies favourite in 2013 before Capaldi got the gig. While Capaldi has put in some fine performances I still think Kinnear would have been better. He has great acting experience, vulnerability, intelligence and steel which could serve the role well.

Doctor-Who-Into-the-Dalek-Zawe-Ashton

ZAWE ASHTON

Fleabag star Phoebe Waller-Bridge has been offered up and would be an okay choice but if the producers wanted to be adventurous then Zawe Ashton is a better pick in my view. She’s funny and quirky and has a cool irreverence as seen in the comedy Fresh Meat.

Neverland

RHYS IFANS

The laidback Welsh actor has been delighting us for years with his insouciant performances in indie and blockbuster movies. He can play intelligent, complex and simple characters; but it’s his sly wit and stoner charm which I think can take the Doctor in an interesting direction.

Anyway, they are my choices. Here’s a video from What Culture with their picks: