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SIX OF THE BEST #1 – BRITISH SITCOM EPISODES

SIX OF THE BEST #1 – BRITISH SITCOM EPISODES

My blog has a few little running series on it such as My Cinematic Romance where I list some of my favourite filmy things; also my monthly review round-up called Screenwash. Moreover, in the annals of time and space there’s my Fix Films Retrospective short film reviews plus two critical series called Under-rated Classics and 100 Not Out!  The last two I need a few more entries, however, I now introduce another blog thing called Six of the Best! Basically, it’s another list but this time six of the best of “something”.

We all need a laugh in these times of global conflict so to cheer myself up I thought about some classic British situation comedies which are genuinely funny every time I watch them.  We’ve produced so many amazing comedy shows over the years it’s good to look back in celebration. Obviously, there are SO many episodes to choose from but here are a mere six which make me piss myself laughing every time.

**MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**

BLACKADDER GOES FORTH – “GOODBYEE”

“Bugger!”

The classic historical sitcom that went from the Dark Ages up to the horrors of World War One had so many legendary episodes brimming with cracking gags, characters and a who’s-who of comedy talent.  The final episode is one of those rare programmes which makes you laugh your brain off throughout but has you in tears by the final frame. Blackadder, George and Baldrick, having attempted to avoid the “big push” finally reach the end of the line:

BOTTOM – “GAS”

“Why didn’t we just pay our gas bill?”

Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson’s juvenile-slapstick-low-life-loser-flat-share-comedy was a wonderful guilty pleasure which essentially updated their “Dangerous Brothers” persona for the 1990s. Basically, Eddie and Rich have been “borrowing” next door’s gas when they get rumbled a whole host of stupid mayhem ensues.  Gas was the second ever episode and is definitely my favourite as it contains so many great lines, catchphrases and violent set-pieces. R. I. P comic genius Rik Mayall!

FAWLTY TOWERS – “COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS”

“You can see the sea. It’s over there between the land and the sky.”

Connie Booth and John Cleese’s superlative farce set in a raggedy Torquay hotel contains some of the most brilliantly complex comedy-of-error-plots I have seen. This is especially evident in this episode when the obnoxious stick-insect that is Basil Fawlty meets the hard-of-hearing-customer-from-hell Mrs Richards (Joan Sanderson). A serpentine narrative involving antique vases, secret bets, stolen money and Basil mistakenly using morons Manuel and the Major as alibis leaves you dizzy with laughter. Cleese is on especially good form as Fawlty goes on full sarcasm overdrive throughout.

I’M ALAN PARTRIDGE – “WATERSHIP ALAN”

“Earlier on I put in a pound of mashed-up Dundee cake.”

Steve Coogan’s wonderful comedy grotesque filters the embarrassing foot-in-mouth-media-enunciations of Alan Titchmarsh, Tony Blackburn and Richard Madeley; giving us one of the great comedic creations of modern times.  Having been sacked by the BBC Alan found himself self-unemployed and searching for a second BBC series, all the while staying in a Travel Tavern on the outskirts of Norwich. In Watership Alan he manages to upset the Farmers Union while challenging Cliff Thorburn for a corporate video job and becoming obsessed with ‘Ladyboys’. Safe to say things don’t go to plan in a hilariously warped comedy that features Simon Pegg and genius Chris Morris.

THE OFFICE – SEASON 1 – EPISODE 4 – “TRAINING DAY”

“Sometimes the complaints will be false!”

Gervais and Merchant’s brilliant sitcom of embarrassment and character observations is built around the antics of deluded goateed manager and “King of Cringe” David Brent.  In this episode Wernham Hogg invite an external contractor to deliver a customer service training session, and of course, Brent sabotages proceedings and brings the Trainer to the edge of a nervous breakdown. From the bizarre roleplay, failed stand-up gags and excruciating guitar-playing Brent uses the session to showcase his perceived ability as an entertainer. A true classic this also features Tim and Gareth doing battle over the “Chicken, Grain and Fox” riddle. Priceless!

STEPTOE AND SON – “UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS, UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS”

“You never know in this house. Some of the things he puts in them.”

This episode from the eighth and final season followed a familiar family formula of pitting Wilfred Bramble’s irascible old git Albert Steptoe against his long-suffering son, Harold.  Harry H. Corbett portrayed the son with a tragic hangdog pathos and more often than not his attempts to better himself or escape the totting business are doomed by his father’s devious shenanigans. In Upstairs Downstairs, Upstairs Downstairs, Harold must tend to his father’s every whim as he is laid up with a slipped disc; obviously it’s not long before Harold is being exploited by his father. Galton and Simpson wrote some of the greatest comedies ever committed to radio and television and caught working class hardship and family rivalry perfectly with brilliant scripts full of pain, tragedy and humour.

TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT LIFE #1 by PAUL LAIGHT

TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT LIFE #1

Decided to take a slight break from the cultural reviews and focus on what I hope to be a series of occasional “life” reviews. Because if you hadn’t noticed it’s a terrible world out there so you have try and focus on the positives.

The world is full of: war, famine, disease, murder, racism, vengeance, death, bullying, fundamentalism, politics, madness, drones, bombs, guns, suicide, depression and general political, media and religious negativity. Indeed, things can seem pretty shitty sometimes so it’s important to think about the things in life that make it worthwhile. They could be big or small but they make one happy, bring a smile or just simply take you away for a time from the general horrors of existence.

So, for starters, here are ten things that make my life worth living.

Dogs in Pubs

I love drinking in pubs and I also love dogs too. So, when I see a dog in a pub I feel immensely happy. Not sure why but a dog in a pub always brings a smile to my face, warming the cockles of my heart in the process – although that could be the alcohol!

Chinese Food

I know it’s probably really bad for you but the joy I get from overdosing on fat, sugar and salt, along with the other ingredients is just awesome. In my extreme over-eating days of the past Chinese food was my crack; I just couldn’t get enough and still cannot. I’m just far more disciplined than I once was.

The Sea

Who knows why but I love the sea? I don’t enjoy frying my skin in the sun but more standing on the beach or on coastal terrain and looking out at the vast water ahead of me and hearing the waves lap against the sand or stones. It makes me feel calm and collected and relaxed. Maybe it symbolises escape yet also protection too. Wonderful!

Cinema

Going to see a film is still one of my favourite things to do. I’ve said this before but it’s like going to church for me; except perhaps the stories aren’t as far-fetched as the one’s in the Bible. Sitting there in the dark, staring at a big screen waiting for the film to start, brings about an enormous sense of well-being; and it always will.

Love

What is love: a complex chemical reaction in the body; a means to exploit humanity via a romantic concept; an emotional response based on strong feelings for family or someone you are attracted to; or a con-trick by nature to get us to pro-create? I love my family and recently I met someone and can thus testify that love is a hearty escapade. The Beatles sang, “All you need is Love!” Well, you need air, water and food too but love’s definitely on the list of life’s essentials too. However fleeting it may be – grab it if you can!

The Boy

I have a teenage son and I must admit that being a parent is bloody hard work. There is no pause. When you have a child the mind never closes down thinking about them, hoping you are doing the right thing and they do not come to harm. You have a great responsibility but one that enriches your life and makes you a much better and mature person. I wouldn’t want more than one child but he’s a bright, funny and interesting character and someone I could not be without.

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Hamsters

Your basic Syrian hamster is the greatest pet you can have. They are cute, self-reliant and funny little creatures who for some reason make me smile. I’m not one for the big responsibility of a dog or cat or more children so a hamster is the best pet you could get in my opinion.

Ham Sandwiches

I love a ham sandwich. Placing a bit of thinly sliced pork in between two slices of bread is one of the simple pleasures in life. Putting too much butter on it also adds to the flavour and an occasional suggestion of lettuce or tomato can sprinkle some flavour. Crusty bread is best but your basic soft-sliced-starchy white bread will suffice too.

Not being at Work

You wake up in the morning and you realise you DON’T HAVE to go to work. You have a day or days off!  I love that feeling! And I don’t mean being unemployed because that in itself can be depressing and leave you skint. Yet the emotion of knowing you have escaped the rat race for the day is a boon to anyone’s life chi. It’s like scoring the winner in a football match – but for ordinary people!

Beer

I have in the past been an excessive drinker of epic proportions and had some bloody good times too. However, the colossal hangovers have hung heavy within my history so I have tempered the functional alcoholism of my 30s and am now a mildly successful moderate drinker (once or twice a week) now. I love the taste and smell and buzzy feeling I get from having a few pints in a social situation and long may it continue; in moderation of course.

Cheers to all of you! Have a lovely weekend! And be nice to everyone!

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CHANCE ENCOUNTER – A STAR TREK FILM – UPDATE #2

Move over Michael Bay! Step aside JJ Abrams! Fix Films are here with the latest update for their new ultra-low-budget-sci-fi-romance film: Chance Encounter!

We have cast new great actors in Hayward B. Morse and Emily Wyatt. Plus, Gary has begun building the set out of wood and old car seats. Eat your heart out Hollywood!  Oh, you’ve done that already?!

For the latest Kickstarter update click here! Or watch the latest update on the video below!

SISYPHEAN REPRESENTATIONS IN CINEMA AND TELEVISION

SISYPHEAN REPRESENTATIONS IN CINEMA AND TELEVISION

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”  Winston Churchill

Have you ever just thought: what’s the point in carrying on?  Dead French bloke Albert Camus wrote an existential essay called The Myth of Sisyphus which I read when I was in my teens; and while failing to understand it I felt cool and superior to everyone else who hadn’t read it. I read it again a few years ago and it is a fascinating analysis as to whether life has any point.

Camus deemed life an exercise in the absurd and one should never give up but rather laugh or revolt; something like that anyway! He offered mythological character Sisyphus, who, if you didn’t know, was punished for his deceitfulness by the Gods. His penance was to forever push the same boulder up a hill over and over. Camus opined Sisyphus’ struggle gave life meaning despite the immortal repetition.

I have in my darkest hours of life’s disappointment thought about relinquishing hope. However, I agree with Camus as I feel NOT giving up is in fact success enough; and persistence is reward enough whatever the outcome. So, to celebrate characters overcoming adversity, abject failure or seemingly insurmountable odds, I have picked out some “Sisyphean” characters from TV and cinema who just didn’t know when they were beaten even if the odds were stacked against them or they’ve suffered defeat after defeat.

**MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD**

NUMBER 6 – THE PRISONER (1967)

Bond meets Kafka in this unique 1960s spy-thriller-with-a-twist. The brainchild of TV star Patrick McGoohan, this unique and psychedelic show found our anti-hero Number 6 attempting to escape from an idyllic “prison” called the Village. He could just settle back and give in to his captors’ questioning but Number 6 refuses to be filed and indexed; preferring to fight against the authorities despite being thwarted week after week.


ANDY DUFRESNE – THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (1994)

Patience is a virtue they say and Andy Dufresne shows it in spades; tiny little digging spades he uses to chip away at a tunnel over many, many years. This prison film benefits from a gem of a Stephen King story, plus Frank Darabont’s brilliant writing. Everyman Dufresne could be battered into submission by the rape, beatings, and incarceration he endures but his stubborn survival instinct pays off in a wonderful pay-off at the story’s end.

CAROL PELETIER – THE WALKING DEAD (2010 –               )

Don’t you just hate the darned Zombie Apocalypse!!  I could have chosen a number of characters from other zombie films or shows but to me Carol Peletier (Melissa McBride) is one of the great survivors. She began as an meek character abused by her husband, but having seen her young daughter turn she eventually grew into a formidable “Sarah Connor” archetype kicking zombie butt with aplomb. Arguably, her mental breakdown in the last season was a disappointing but no doubt the Carol we love will be back; hopefully.

HUGH GLASS – THE REVENANT (2015)

Bear with me on this one!  DiCaprio got the Oscar for his nature-versus-man-survival-fest and deservedly so for his physical endeavour. His character Glass just refuses to shatter as he firstly suffers a vicious Grizzly attack and then is left for dead by Tom Hardy’s mumbling mercenary. After which the terrain, natives, climate, and most terrifyingly, men, conspire to force Glass into all manner of gruelling trials as he seeks revenge for the murder of his son.

MATTIE ROSS – TRUE GRIT (1969)

I loved this John Wayne classic pursuit Western when I was a kid and have seen it too many times to mention. The Duke won the Oscar yet the standout performance was from Kim Darby as Mattie Ross; a feisty, motor-mouth irritant who nags and cajoles and chases and fights after vicious murderer Tom Chaney. My favourite scene is with Rooster Cogburn, who when finally realising she just won’t give up, laughs and proclaims in his classic laconic drawl, “By god – she reminds me of me!”

MAX ROCKATANSKY:  FURY ROAD (2015)

Mad Max is one of the great existential action heroes. Adorned in battered leather and wearing life’s scars on his face and heart he continues to live and survive in a hopeless world full of punk maniacs with death in their eyes. I guess he carries on because there’s a flicker of hope in his marrow; even if danger and pain are often his only companions on the Fury Road!


SOLOMON NORTHRUP – TWELVE YEARS A SLAVE  (2013)

I could never begin to understand the suffering individuals went through at the hands of slavers. Yet Solomon Northrup’s memoir and latterly Steve McQueen’s film version of the story encapsulated the pain of such an existence with such power. Chiwetel Ejiofor excels in the lead of an innocent man stolen from his family and forced into bondage by nefarious examples of humanity. Throughout, Northrup retains his dignity and strength never to surrender; and is ultimately rewarded with freedom despite a horrific twelve years of agony.

SCRAT – ICE AGE (2002 –             )

Scrat is a big-toothed-long-suffering-squirrel from the Ice Age franchise whose comic vignettes involve him attempting to transport a huge acorn to an unknown hibernation location. Following Murphy’s Law adage that “what can go wrong will go wrong” to ad infinitum the pain and mayhem for the prehistoric squirrel makes for hilarious slapstick. While we revel in Scrat’s misadventures the blighter never gives up on his prize suffering blow after blow yet never relinquishing that nut whatever the weather.    


SUE HECK – THE MIDDLE (2009 –         )

Benefitting from an effervescent performance by young actress Eden Sher, the character of Sue Heck is a socially awkward yet committed individual. She tries out for EVERYTHING: spelling bees, cheerleaders, competitions, after-school clubs and pretty much FAILS every time. However, she views eschews failure and rejection and the fact teachers don’t even remember who she is as a mere trifle.  She is a terrific loser whose enthusiasm knows no limits and for that I salute her spirit and passion. We can all learn from Sue Heck!

WILE E. COYOTE (1948 –         )

Chuck Jones and Michael Maltese original animated tortured soul IS Sisyphus incarnate. Doomed to pursuit and abject failure Wile E. Coyote just absolutely won’t give up chasing the Roadrunner. Slapstick violence and near-death pummels the damned creature’s soul; yet he comes back for more and more punishment without ever seeking an alternative food supply. I found the cartoons hilarious as a kid and still do now. Wile E. Coyote is the “living” epitome of Churchill’s quote which begins this piece and I love the character for his sheer bloody-minded stubbornness and refusal to yield.

CHANCE ENCOUNTER – A STAR TREK SHORT FILM – UPDATE #1

Having successfully hit our Kickstarter target for funding our latest short film goes into pre-production. And we have some exciting news in regard to casting!

If you didn’t already know Chance Encounter is the 9th short film from Fix Films.  The film itself is a 15 minute romantic drama, with a gentle and life affirming tone to it. Essentially it is a love story, dealing with the decision between spending a life with a devoted partner, or embarking on a dream career. There is also some intrigue, as two key characters investigate, pursue and attempt to make sense of the unusual actions of the leading man.

Our first actress – Ayvianna Snow – has been cast in the leading role of Rose Tennant and very talented she is too.

We are very excited about the project – please do check out the latest update video the director Gary has made. Expect more updates to come.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR F.C. LEAGUE REVIEW (2015 – 2016)

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR FC LEAGUE REVIEW (2015 – 2016)

“Icarus flew too close to the sun, but at least he flew.” Jeremy Robert Johnson

As the paint dries on the end of the Premier League season my team, Spurs, finished in third position; having flown high for so long they ultimately imploded in orbit before sadly crashing and burning. However, I am a very proud Spurs supporter today as finishing third in the league guarantees us Champions League football next year, and for a moment, just one split-second moment our young team, under the progressive management of Mauricio Pochettino, just flew; we really flew!

Okay, Leicester’s incredible Premier League win was the sporting story of the year, plus we didn’t win anything and failed to hold on to second to our bitter rivals Arsenal. Still, at least, when compared to the likes of Chelsea, Liverpool, and the under-achieving Mancunian teams we got off the runway and soared. Yes, we burnt out spectacularly in the last two-and-half-games but the future for Spurs remains sonic-powered and solar bright!

GAMES

While I would have taken third position at the beginning of the season, getting so close to title glory meant failure was a bitter, jagged pill to stick down one’s throat. But we were scintillating throughout the season with some fantastic performances in the Premier League. Fair enough, an unlucky 3rd round loss to Arsenal in the League Cup, unnecessary loss to Palace in the FA Cup and waving the white flag to Dortmund in the Europa League condemned us to a lack-lustre cup exits, we, more often than not, totally smashed it in the League.

During a fourteen game unbeaten run early doors we smashed Manchester City 4-1 at home, Bournemouth 5-1 away and West Ham 4-1 at White Hart Lane. Even after blippy defeats to bogey teams Newcastle United and Leicester at home we strung together a series of wonderful wins including SIX in a row, which would propel us to title contenders. After being out-hustled by West Ham (1-0) we actually were, for fourteen minutes, top of the table when leading against ten-man Arsenal. But the scum equalised and we never hit the top again.

Nonetheless, Spurs continued to battle and chase and harry the formidable leaders Leicester and put real pressure on them when winning 3-0 against Manchester United and smashing sorry Stoke 4-0.  Alas, the win in the Potteries was our last of a brilliant season and the ‘Battle at the Bridge’ against Chelsea saw the wheels of our title challenge career off in a pulsating, yet ill-disciplined, performance. Two crushing defeats to Southampton and Newcastle meant our young lions had won hearts and minds and flirted with glory but sadly fell short in the title and runners-up spot.

PLAYERS

Spurs had many stand-out players in a highly consistent season. Hugo Lloris was, overall, one of the best goalkeepers in the league saving us many, many times through the year. His form, arguably fell off, like the rest of the team in the last few games but, David DeGea aside, I would not want another keeper in our box. Our defence was mean like a junkyard dog with Rose and Walker bombing up the wings and covering tackles and crosses like demons. In fact, Danny Rose, under Pochettino, is one of the most improved players at the club, embracing the derring-do, action and pace the manager has instilled.

Centre-back, Toby Alderweireld was deservedly voted Spurs player of the season by the fans as his cool, calm persona plus brilliant tackling and exquisite passing range made him the signing of the summer. But, special mention must go to a great young defender, who I thought was unlucky to be dropped for Vertonghen, called Kevin Wimmer. I would make him first choice next year as Jan, while a fine defender, has looked somewhat jaded and short of pace since coming back from injury.

Arguably our most valuable player of the season, along with Harry Kane, was Belgium midfielder, Moussa Dembele. Box-to-box there was not a better footballer in the league in my opinion. Because of his ability to hustle opponents and rarely lose the ball, Spurs struggled when he didn’t play. Another revelation in midfield was Eric Dier, who having been promoted from the back four provided, for the most part, rock-like protection, snarling commitment and also some valuable goals.

Attacking midfielders Christian Eriksen and Erik Lamela were also excellent throughout. Great Dane Eriksen especially provided an unprecedented number of assists and often derided Lamela really found his passing and goal scoring range. Find of the season though in a Spurs shirt was the mercurial teenager Dele Alli who scored a series of brilliant goals. Bought for an incredibly low price of £5 million he deservedly won PFA Young player of the Year and what a talent he is! The only criticism that can be aimed at him is his lack of discipline; yet it’s that aggression which drives his winning mentality and something I’m sure he will channel into becoming a world-class player for Spurs and England.

Going forward Harry “He’s one of our own” Kane has provided the fulcrum for a brilliant attack-minded team. In the Premier League alone he scored TWENTY-FIVE goals and pretty much played every minute on his own up front. If he’d been injured I’m not sure Spurs would have been able to challenge as high as they have. He is single-minded in his pursuit of goals, possessing great ability in the air and on the ground. Kane’s skill in tight spots, powerful strength and dead-eye accuracy made him my Spurs player of the year; followed closely by Alderweireld, Dembele and Alli.

GOALS

An incredible amount of goals to choose from but my top FIVE Premier League goals of the season in date order:

Christian Eriksen – brilliant free kick against Swansea – 4/10/2015

Dele Alli – incredible finish versus Crystal Palace – 23/01/2016

Christian Eriksen – ice-cold winner against Manchester City – 14/02/2016

Harry Kane – amazing strike against the Arsenal – 05/03/2016

Dele Alli – sublime thru ball & finish versus Stoke City – 18-04-16

STYLE

This youthful Spurs team, most of them in their twenties, played with high-line intensity, hunting in packs, defending in numbers and breaking teams down with a ferocious passion and jugular-gripping power. When they had their best eleven on the pitch they were virtually unplayable and had many Premier League managers and football pundits praising our impressive attacking prowess and miserly defence. While the romantics were rightly willing Leicester FC to win the league, Spurs were a credit to football and it was a damned shame they could not hold onto the runners-up berth their scintillating play richly deserved.

THE MANAGER

In Mauricio Pochettino (and his backroom staff) Spurs have a fantastic manager who, while still gaining experience, as a Premier League boss is moulding a young, speedy and hungry team capable of challenging for top honours. Pochettino carries himself not only with dignity but also quiet power and determination. You can see a keen football brain ticking over and his passion is undeniable. I admire his ability to get a tune out of an inexperienced team and create a winning spirit which will hopefully lead us to greater things in the near future.

NEXT SEASON – 2016-2017

With Chelsea, Manchester United and Liverpool under-achieving plus Manchester City being below par generally throughout the season, next year will be tough for Spurs to maintain a top four place. Also, who’s to say another team won’t do a “Leicester” and come from nowhere to win the Premier League? Indeed, Leicester themselves won’t want to give up their title easily.

Obviously, we will need to bolster the squad as we severely lacked strength in depth when our first-team eleven were not playing. Plus, the intense, closing-down football we play, and the Europa League campaign, meant we were stretched mentally and physically by the end of the season; thus culminating in our final game draws and capitulations against West Bromwich Albion, Chelsea, Southampton and sadly, Newcastle.

By shaving some of the players Pochettino deems surplus to requirements and bringing in, at the very least, another quality defensive midfielder, top-draw midfield playmaker and a couple of strikers, Spurs can take the overall positivity of this season to new heights. Moreover, tactically I would like us to add a bit more match-play nous to our speed and skill next year. We threw away points from a number of advantageous positions and feel with better discipline and tactical ability to close a game out we would have been even higher up the table.

OVERALL

It was ultimately a brilliant season from a marvellous young squad who did the Spurs supporters proud throughout the year.  I thank the players and manager for giving me an enormous amount of footballing pleasure and excitement this season. It’s true to say that Icarus flew too close to the sun but at least he flew; as did Spurs this year.

2015 – 2016 – STATISTICS (select)

Premier League Top Scorer – 25 Goals – Harry Kane

Premier League Best Goal Difference – 34+

Premier League Longest Winning Streak –  6 games

Premier League Most Assists – (2nd place) – 13 assists – Christian Eriksen

Premier League Goals – (2nd place) – 69 goals

Club Record Unbeaten Run – 14 games

PFA Young Player of the Year – Deli Alli

CHANCE ENCOUNTER: A STAR TREK KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN

CHANCE ENCOUNTER: A STAR TREK KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN BY PAUL LAIGHT

START KICKING

The traditional capitalist Hollywood machine model that has dominated the moviemaking industry remains in place like a fiscal contagion. Indeed, the money-people, financiers, studio bosses and banks that control the higher end of the cinema market are mostly beyond the reach of the struggling low-budget filmmaker. Some indie filmmakers battle the snakes and move up the ladder but more often than not they fall to their death into a pit of deathly vipers.

In the past there was purity to raising funds for the independent filmmaker. David Lynch made garden sheds when making Eraserhead (1977). Rebel filmmaker Roberto Rodriguez, allegedly, sold his body to science to raise the money for El Mariachi (1992) and the Coen Brothers shot a no-budget trailer for Blood Simple (1984) before approaching the Hadassah, the Zionist women’s charity, for production monies. Meanwhile, Terence Malick’s classic Badlands (1973) was funded by his own money and by doctors and dentists he had pitched the film idea to.

Oh, how times have changed; sort of!  Aside from using bank loans, inheritances, student loans, government grants and maxing out credit cards there is an alternative to raising project budgets. Because now artists, filmmakers, writers, dancers, jugglers, mimes, comedians and authors in general can now reach out to the internet with their “begging” bowl via the plethora of online sites such as: Kickstarter, Indiegogo, Crowdfunding and many more.

As an independent filmmaker with eight films produced I personally like the romantic idea of working and saving and, on occasions, asking friends for loans to make my films. However, my attitude has shifted – because I’m broke – therefore me and my filmmaking partner Gary O’Brien have begun a Kickstarter campaign for our latest production called: Chance Encounter: A Star Trek Short Film. Click for the LINK:

CHANCE ENCOUNTER: THE STAR TREK STORY!

This is a universal love story set in outer space within the Star Trek television series world circa Next Generation era. It concerns two characters that randomly meet and have a big impact on each other’s lives. While I love sci-fi stuff with aliens and ray-guns this is a gentler story which favours character interaction and themes of loss, love and fate over special effects and monsters. We are not asking for massive donations and believe this to be a fantastic film to invest in.

Please watch our video and invest in our film; any amount will help us achieve our goal. Failing that I may be forced to sell a kidney or lung in order to hit the target.

IMPORTANT: “Star Trek” and all related marks, logos and characters are solely owned by CBS Studios Inc. The videos, the promotion thereof, and/or any other materials created by us are not endorsed by, sponsored by, nor affiliated with CBS, Paramount Pictures, or any other Star Trek franchise, and is a non-commercial fan-made film, intended for recreational use. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

In no case is the use of said copyrighted material, with or without identifying symbols, intended as a claim of ownership or infringement of those copyrights/trademarks by the maker of these videos or their content providers.

FIX FILMS RETROSPECTIVE #3 – THE TWO MINUTE SILENCE (2007)

FIX FILMS RETROSPECTIVE #3 – THE TWO MINUTE SILENCE (2007)

Once again I look back nostalgically on the production process of one of the shorts I made and the creative decisions around it. Indeed, in 2006 the Fix Films bandwagon continued with abandon; well, I’d managed to get some money for our next low-budget short somehow; and it was to be known in Internet-land as The Two Minute Silence!

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After the arduous creative endeavour of A Far Cry (2006), for our next short film, me and Gary decided it may be better to stick to something slightly more contemporary. Thus, I pitched an idea for a group of office workers and their behaviour during a “Two-Minute Silence”. I assume everyone knows what this is but basically the whole nation contemplates a tragic event or international loss; IN SILENCE. Quite rightly the companies or organisations put this convention in place in order to respect those who have lost their lives due to a terrorist attack or some other horrible tragedy. It’s an interesting and important part of the bereavement process and used to be a minute but when writing the script I’d noticed they’d been increased to two minutes; possibly due to grief inflation or some such reason.

2007_TwoMinuteSilence_Animesh_Cenotaph

My idea stemmed from a couple of situations that I felt could be rinsed for comedic and dramatic purposes. Firstly, from personal experience I recall a number of “silences” in the office environment I worked in. As awful as this sounds my mind wandered quite quickly from the tragedy to my own mortality before moving swiftly on to what I may be having for dinner later. Consequently I felt if I had that thought then others must do too. Secondly, I also had a sketch idea that during some pursuit or chase it may be funny or suspenseful to have the criminals and cops have to stop, out of respect, while a silence is occurring. So rather than something serious, that was the tone and angle I was going for.

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The chase sequence was the most interesting idea for me, but I kept coming back to an ensemble idea of eight or so characters in one room with their thoughts projected by voiceover to the audience. Thus, I set about writing the screenplay with archetype characters in the first draft simply named: the Romantic, the Bitch, the Penitent One, the Actor, the Slob, the Boss and so on. The key was to establish the characters quickly and give them each a recognisable situation with which to bounce the humour and pathos off. Indeed, I went for punchlines such as: the easy humour of a guy needing a shit; a romantic couple; the slimy Boss deciding who to give a promotion too; a religious person praying; someone actually respecting the silence; and a more complex situation of a potential madmen planning on killing his colleagues.

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Once the script had gone through a number of drafts and I was satisfied there were enough pay-offs in the brief slice-of-life structure I started the casting process. Now, this is something I am very proud of as a producer because, as the film was self-financed, I pretty much handled all the castings and location scouting and worked really hard in my own time to find the right people and places. In terms of location we needed a conference room that could be used WITHOUT any interruption thus I paid for an expensive meeting room in Holborn, I think. The casting wasn’t so simple though. Thankfully there is so much acting talent out there I whittled the forty or so candidates I individually met down to these brilliant people: Faye Barber, Richard Cambridge, Chris Crocker, Enid Gayle, Chris Polick, Suzanne Rabia, Animesh Rawal, Joel Stubbs and Philip Wolff.

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Ironically, for a film which intrinsically dealt with a specific two minute period it actually ran for ten minutes, and the two-day shoot was fantastically helmed by Gary with me on board as Production Manager, runner, caterer, cigarette wrangler etc. It’s always our rule that we pay the actors and while it certainly wasn’t big bucks we got so much hard work from the cast I was very proud of everyone. Ensemble casts could arguably be fraught with egos or prima donnas but we had none of that and the filming was a joy. The added bonus that it wasn’t outside in the pissing rain and mud, miles from civilisation in a field – like A Far Cry (2006) – also sweetened the whole deal too. Special mention to the brilliant sound guy Oli Cohen and simple but precise camerawork of James Abbott.

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What I learnt most from this experience was that if you cast your film right then you will have a positive product. I don’t necessarily mean just good acting but decent people too who understand the script and work well as part of the ensemble. Pretty much 96.7% of our castings have been right on all our short films and The Two Minute Silence especially benefited from a good premise, a witty script, professional direction and quality actors. We had a mild drama when filming at the Cenotaph for one scene as we did not have permission and the police moved us along. However, looking back the project was an utter joy and we would get some great feedback and screenings in film festivals and on TV including:   Angel Film Festival, The Big Chill Festival, Eastnor, Blue Light District, London Filmmaker’s Convention, Non-Multiplex Cinema Film Group, Portobello Film Festival, Propeller TV/Sky Channel 195, Reading Fringe Festival and Rotoreliefs.

Looking back on it now I think it stands the test of time as a decent character comedy that holds an honest mirror up to the nature of humanity. It’s economical and punchy and still makes me laugh. Plus, I had a wonderful experience making it too. Thanks to all involved; here’s the film:

PRIMAL SCREAM: A RETRO-PERSPECTIVE Inc. LONDON PALLADIUM GIG REVIEW

PRIMAL SCREAM: A RETRO-PERSPECTIVE Inc. PALLADIUM GIG REVIEW                

“I was blind. Now I can see. You made a believer – out of me!” Primal Scream

My very first discovery of Bobby Gillespie was when I, as a teenage idiot working in a dead-end office job, saw a video by the fuzz-bombing, guitar anarchists Jesus and Mary Chain on the telly for their spectacular single Never Understand. I recall thinking who the hell is that twig-skinny-black-mop-haired-bastard-with-sunglasses smashing hell out of a snare drum? He’s cooler than fuck! Plus, THAT band is phenomenal too! As punk rock was just out of my age range here was loud, noisy and tuneful rock and roll I could really get into. In fact, the 1980s gave birth to so many great independent-minded-guitar-based bands that I was in my element! While the “indie” scene eventually got assimilated into the mainstream a main flagbearer of these halcyon times continues with much creative passion and – based on the gig I went to last Friday – Bobby Gillespie is still as relevant and cool as ever. He’s rock and roll’s Dorian Gray who shows no sign of aging OR dying! Gillespie is one of the great frontmen and true a rock and roll immortal!

Primal Scream are one of my favourite bands of all time! I have literally grown up watching them from virtual birth and any release of theirs is welcomed with heart-stopping brain joy. After Gillespie left the Jesus and Mary Chain to front them they released a series of jangle-pop records and Peel Sessions in the 1980s, notably the wonderful It Happens and Velocity Girl. Subsequently they released their debut album Sonic Flower Groove to a lukewarm critical reception and were swiftly dropped by their major record label. I LOVED their first album. It was a heady mix of jangle guitars, power-pop riffs, flowery lyrics and dreamy vocals from Gillespie. Listening to it today I still recall the beauty of those chiming twelve-strings reverberating around my Roehampton bedroom as Bobby Gillespie’s Scottish falsetto sang melodies such as: Sonic Sister Love, Imperial, May the Sun Shine Bright for You and other classics.

Alas the album flopped but Bobby’s comrade and compatriot Alan McGee signed them to his own label Creation and the band set about, not for the first time, changing their sound and look, for their second album. McGee deserves praise for championing passionate-alternative-young-musicians-with-attitude with a desire to see the underdogs challenging the ruling classes. His ardour and eye for talent meant McGee would be rewarded with chart success with Primal Scream and a little known Manchester band called Oasis; who are now the Guinness World record holders for the most successful band of the 1990s.

Second album Primal Scream was a ballsy-Stooges-inspired rock-out full of dirty guitar riffs and basslines to match. Arguably, Gillespie was still looking for a musical identity and worked further through the rock and roll menu with their sophomore release. While it suffered mixed reviews I love it! It has some right royally rocking tracks including one of my favourite songs of theirs: the mercurial I’m Losing More Than I’ll Ever Have. This song and Primal Scream’s fusion with the acid and rave culture of the early 1990s would shoot the band into the mainstream. Loaded was a bastardized version of I’m Losing More Than I’ll Ever Have and with Andrew Weatherall’s ingenious production and quotes from Peter Fonda and sparse vocals from Gillespie, the band had a massive hit record. Furthermore the wonderfully titled Screamadelica would be a global hit and win them the Mercury award for that year.

Further hit singles from Screamdelica would follow, notably the sublime Movin’ on Up, Come Together and Higher the Sun. The album was a triumphant fusion of dance, electronica and rock and critical acclaim followed the commercial success. Personally, I’m not a fan of Loaded as it lacks the heart of the original song it’s taken from, but the track and subsequent album had summer and zeitgeist stamped all over it. Primal Scream were suddenly riding the crest of a wave and much was expected of their next album Give Out but Don’t Give Up!

When the single Rocks soared to number seven in the charts in 1994 the band once again had a hit. However, this slice of bluesy, Stones-influenced rock wasn’t welcomed by all music critics; some even stating the Scream had sold out their dance roots. This though is a fucking ridiculous idea because first and foremost they are a rock and roll band and secondly they’ve never followed trends. In fact, one of the major reasons I love this band so much is they do what the hell they want. I loved their third album and despite its mildly derivative underbelly, songs like Jailbird and the beautifully written I’m Gonna Cry Myself Blind are bona fide classics which still sound fresh today. Overall, Give Out but Don’t Give Up is a funky party album which doesn’t take itself too seriously and will lift even the most sullen of moods. Yet, the party mood was soon to shift as Primal Scream were about to move into much darker territory.

Vanishing Point was Primal Scream finally finding, amidst the postmodern machinations of their rock and roll brain, a signature sound. The record is drenched in amphetamine and smacked-up tunes and with the introduction of Mani from Mancunian legends Stone Roses, the speed-freak awesomeness of the album was one to behold. Gillespie stated it was an alternative soundtrack to the 1970s counter-cultural-narco-road movie of the same name and dub-punk tracks such as: Burning Wheel, Kowalski, Medication plus the trance melody of Star proved him right. It’s a cracking album which sounds both original and dunked in the blood of Lemmy; there’s even a song called Motorhead on the damn thing! Vanishing Point’s brutal, poetic, cinematic, dirty, thudding basslines, drum loops, guitars and lyrics make it one of their most complete and fresh sounding releases.

If Vanishing Point was a classic then their next album XTRMNTR is, in my view, their masterpiece. It takes the speed-ball from its predecessor and jams it into the brain with a burning syringe; and you’re left in no doubt this is a group at the top of their game. I think the band’s drug use and abuse is well documented and of course narcotic addiction will rip a hole in the soul of one’s humanity; however, the mixture of hedonism, anger, guts, passion and despair you get from being on drugs can give us great art such as this. Because instant classics such as Kill All Hippies, Accelerator, Shoot Speed/Kill Light and the majestic industrial disco epic Swastika Eyes proved that Primal Scream had written and produced one of the finest albums of all time. It’s angry, political, personal, dark and desperate, but also amidst the vampires and shadows there’s some incredible rock tunes in there and it remains for me their finest sixty minutes and twenty-four seconds.

After XTRMNTR the band toured the world. I caught them at a particularly blurry gig at the Hammersmith Palais, which was one of those nights I’ll never forget; mainly because I can’t remember too much about it. I recall dancing and falling over joyous and drunk on: life, music and chemicals. It was a stunning culmination for me of a band and die-hard fan coming together in perfect ecstasy. But how do you follow not one but TWO classic smashed-up tour-de-force albums?

I think in all honesty Primal Scream’s creative purple-patched hearts dipped in the next few years. Evil Heat from 2002 and Riot City Blues (2006) were punctuated by the royal remixed release of “Best of” album called Dirty Hits. Having said that any Primal Scream album is better than no albums at all and songs including: Autobahn 66 from Evil Heat and Country Girl, Hell’s A Comin’ Down and the touching Sometimes I Feel So Lonely demonstrated the band’s continued ability to write a cracking tune. But overall these two albums were inconsistent and unfocussed compared to the manic genius of their predecessors. Having said that Country Girl was another chart hit and it was great seeing the Scream in the charts, appealing to the globby masses again.

Released in 2008 Beautiful Future was a marked improvement in terms of songwriting consistency. The powerful pop electronica of the first seven tracks suggested a classic-in-the-making; however, the quality dips slightly toward the end. Nonetheless, it is a wonderful poppy soufflé drenched in pathos with grandstanding tracks including: Uptown, Zombie Man, Can’t Go Back and Beautiful Summer. In fact Beautiful Future is indeed a bright temporal glimpse forward as the band’s current album Chaosmosis is an even sharper sonic pop album and brimming with startling positivity in songs like: Tripping on your Love and the exquisite When the Light Comes In.

Sandwiched in between these two albums is the experimental, jazzy offerings of More Light, which found Bobby Gillespie clean and sober for the first time forever. He opined when the album was released:

“We are trying to create transcendent, euphoric, ecstatic experiences. That’s always going to be part of our aesthetic. We like making druggy-sounding psychedelic music. It’s just that since we stopped taking drugs we got better at it.” Bobby Gillespie (2013)

Unlike the delectably titled Chaosmosis – which isn’t chaotic sounding at all – More Light is the blended process of Primal Scream shedding their rock and roll skin once again. The scales that scatter in the wind find the music all over the shop; psychedelic 2013 and bluesy-pop of Its Alright, I’m OK meld with punk bursts of Culturecide and Hit Void, and the moody ballad Walking with the Beast. What the album lacks in discipline it makes up with some cracking songs and a mass collection of musical personnel producing an artistically satisfying smorgasbord spikily overseen by uber-producer David Holmes.

To celebrate the release of the sparky power-pop classic Chaosmosis, the Scream booked themselves into the London Palladium for one night only. I was surprised by their choice of venue as the Palladium is historically a home for Royalty, middle-of-the-road entertainment and the bourgeoisie. Plus, it was April Fool’s Day so I wondered if perhaps it was some grand prank and the gig would be prove a sham. It was anything but as Bobby Gillespie and his crew of old stalwarts such as keyboardist Martin Duffy and Andrew Innes on guitar were ably backed up by young bassist Simone Butler and Hannah Marsden on support vocals. When you have almost thirty years of material to choose from then karmic chameleons such as the Scream are a banker to deliver the rock and roll goods. Every song was beautifully rendered as crisp light and video show melded pristinely with the soaring choir in the shadows; all the while sonic brother Gillespie begging the crowd to come together toward the light.

Movin’ On Up was an incredible opener and the hits just poured out from the stage and my personal favourites were Tripping’ On Your Love, Shoot Speed/Kill Light, Rocks, Swastika Eyes, Kill All Hippies and the rarely heard original Come Together replete with acid-dance remix of course. The whole night was a cascade of nostalgia and cracking showmanship and I felt at one with the world and a group of musicians who are part of my psyche and who I consider, culturally speaking, part of the family. I was blind. I can see. Primal Scream made a believer out of me. We’re MOVING ON UP!!

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Dedicated to the memory of Robert Young (1965 – 2014)

TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU #4 – THE CINEMA

TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU #4 – THE CINEMA

Following on from my rants about movie hair, “found footage” films and Zack Snyder the fourth entry in this series is about (drum roll please. . . ) what I hate at the CINEMA! Indeed, as this blog will testify I love the cinema and I LOVE FILMS!!  As often affirmed I am not a religious person yet the cinema is the closest I get to a place of worship for me. However, there are some things I HATE about the cinema-going experience, so, I thought it would be fun to have a rant about it. I mean it’s easy disrespecting things you DON’T like such as: politicians, minor celebrities, cancer, self-service checkout machines, war, Piers Morgan and death! But how about having a go at something I DO like. So, here goes!  Ten things I hate about the cinema. Enjoy!

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#1 – PEOPLE

People generally piss me off at the cinema. I am a reasonably thoughtful person but when I go to the cinema I become a very selfish. I basically start to hate people. Especially if they are: in the way, talking, in the queue, in the toilet and breathing. I recall when I was a student, I loved going to the cinema for the first screening of the day because there was hardly anyone about.  One of my greatest memories is when I saw The Shadow (1994) starring Alec Baldwin.  THERE WAS NO ONE IN THE SCREENING at ALL!!  That was my idea of heaven. Not a great film but a wonderful cinema memory.

#2 – TALKING

People who chat during the film SHOULD BE banned forever! In fact a law should be introduced that there’s NO talking from the trailers onwards.  If you do you are forcibly removed from the screening room.  I go to the cinema to escape reality; YOU or YOUR MATE’S voice-words are reality so SHUT THE FUCK UP!  If you want to have a conversation piss-off to a pub or a shop or a busy road and PLAY IN THE TRAFFIC. Anywhere but the cinema I am in!

#3 – PHONES

Dear People, who use their phones at the cinema: see above! You ARE CUNTS!

#4 – CONFECTIONERY

ALL CONFECTIONERY SHOULD BE BANNED WHEN THE FILM STARTS. The rustling and crisping and slurping is TOO annoying for words. What is it with the cinema and NOT eating beforehand!?  Eat BEFORE!  I guess there’s some Freudian reason for stuffing over-priced popcorn, sugar and crisps into your gobs in the dark.  If it’s an action-based film it’s not so bad as the sound of the film will drown it out. But in a drama which is character and dialogue based then the opening and rustling of packets drives me mad; especially when the people TRY TO BE QUIET!  By trying to be quiet in a dead silent environment only heightens the noise you mug!

#5 – COST

While we’re on the subject of food, let’s face it: the price of popcorn is ridiculous. At present inflation is at an all-time low but NOT for cinema food. For what you get POPCORN is more expensive than COCAINE! And cocaine’s probably better for you. The price of food and drink at the cinema makes motorway service station prices look like Poundland.  Also, I’ve seen a growing trend of so-called shopping ‘tasters’ at the ice cream stand. These cheapskates should be shot!! If you don’t know what the taste of cold-processed-sugared-crap is by now then just die!  IT TASTES OF CHEMICALS and SUGAR!

 #6 – PUNCTUALITY

GET TO THE FILM ON FUCKING TIME! I’ve made it on time! I am comfortable and have to get up, or have my view blocked, because you’re late. You shouldn’t be allowed in; especially if the film has started!  There’s no excuse people – NO EXCUSE!

#7 – TRAILERS!

More and more trailers are just a summary of the WHOLE film! This is lazy! An example of a terrible trailer was a film called Fast Girls (2012) which essentially gave the WHOLE PLOT away in chronological order. Even Oscar winners Spotlight (2015) and Argo (2012) chose key dialogue scenes which span out the spine of the film and left nothing to the experience. I also lament the loss of the Voiceover Guy. I loved that guy; he really raised the sense of suspense or horror. To me a trailer should suggest and create intrigue rather give away the story or even mislead the audience. Indeed, the trailer for Sweeney Todd (2007) had NO musical numbers in it even though IT WAS A MUSICAL!  Now HERE’S A PROPER TRAILER!

#8 – HEGEMONY

I like a decent blockbuster but the hegemonic domination of the multiplexes means smaller films don’t often get a chance. I used to love repertory cinemas such as the Scala in King’s Cross (which is now a nightclub and live music venue) but alas these cinemas are a dying breed. We do have Prince Charles which is great but even some independents are NOT truly independent like the PICTUREHOUSE chain, as they are owned by Cineworld. I’m probably just being nostalgic for a non-capitalist dream but it just irks me when a Marvel or Disney film is released on ALL the screens at the same time and smaller films vanish rapidly; lost in the huge capitalist machine that is greed.

#9 – ADVERTISING

Slowly but surely a film programme is getting longer and longer!!   Showtime is advertised at 7.00pm but the film doesn’t start until fucking midnight. I’ve paid NOT to see adverts! To me it should be THREE adverts and THREE trailers and that’s it!!  Plus the adverts get shown AFTER the TRAILERS too – THERE’S NO ESCAPE!  I accept adverts, like politics, are a necessary evil in society but they’re STILL EVIL!  If I pay £13 for a cinema ticket I’ve paid for the privilege of NOT being eye-punched to death by advertising.  The amount of advertising actually makes me nostalgic for Pearl & Dean. Oh, for the good old days!

#10 – NOT THE CINEMA!

Basically, I know people are broke and the cinema is expensive but if you watch a BIG BLOCKBUSTER film on an illegal download – THEN YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT!! I realise Hollywood isn’t going broke anytime soon and you’re probably NOT funding terrorism but you are disrespecting the cinema – so GO TO THE CINEMA!!  Just don’t do any of the above THINGS I’ve listed above, and as long as you don’t go when I go, then go watch a movie where it’s meant to be seen! Not on an Iphone or a Tablet but at THE CINEMA!  OBEY!