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SCREENWASH REVIEWS– JANUARY 2016

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SCREENWASH REVIEWS– JANUARY 2016

Last year was a very good year for filmmaking but 2016 is shaping up even better already. You know the scene in Pulp Fiction (1994) where Bruce Willis’ character is moving from one weapon to a bigger/better one before he tortures Zed in the basement?  That’s what cinema going is like for me in January. I’ve seen so many brilliant films in succession either as good as or better than the last.  Moreover, the Oscar fodder is launched on the silver screen thus; I saw NOT one, but FOUR films which are already likely to be on my Best of 2016 list.

I’ve slightly tweaked my FILM/TV review format so instead of covering, in detail, EVERYTHING I saw, I’ve made it a bit punchier and reviewed in depth the best of the best. As usual – marks out of eleven!

**CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS**

CINEMA FILMS OF THE MONTH – ROOM (2015) + THE REVENANT (2015)


ROOM (2015) – (MARK: 10.5 out of 11)

Room is an amazing film. Probably the best and most moving I will see ALL year. It concerns Joy (the incredible Brie Larson) and her young son Jack (stunning Jacob Tremblay) who have been abducted and trapped in a shed by a nefarious kidnapper referred only as “Old Nick”.

The film is presented from the innocent boy’s perspective and the pathos and empathy I felt throughout was both touching and heart breaking. What the writer’s premise does and filmmakers do is make you care about the characters immediately making every scene so suspenseful and soulful. If you are captured by stories about proper characters trying to survive dire events then it’s a must see.

The budget was low at $6 million yet director Lenny Abrahamson, his brilliant cast and writer Emma Donoghue have created a masterpiece in emotional storytelling.  Ultimately, it’s a film not just about isolation, abandonment and the horror of humanity; but also the unbridled love a mother has for their child and child for their mother. This is a truly stunning film which will linger in the memory for some time to come.

THE REVENANT (2015) – (MARK: 10 out of 11)

While Room is intimate and claustrophobic, The Revenant was the polar opposite. It’s a massive, heart pounding survival epic that must be seen on the biggest cinema screen you can find. Don’t stream it illegally online you cheap bastards; leave the house and GO TO THE CINEMA!

It concerns a Trappers’ expedition circa 1823 which is assaulted most violently by the indigenous Arikara Native Americans from the get go. The brutal attack set-piece kicks off the film in startling fashion with fire, blood and bone spilling and crunching and blasting death upon our characters. Our hero – Oscar-winner-elect – Leonardo DiCaprio is a tracker, Hugh Glass, whose expertise is required to get the survivors across the cold and brutal landscape in one piece.  But he is attacked by a bear in one of the most incredible feats of filmmaking I have seen in a long time. It just has to be seen to be believed as Glass is ripped to shreds by the bear leaving him at death’s step knocking on the door.

DiCaprio is then left with his Native American son and the greasy John Fitzgerald portrayed with dirty aplomb by brilliant Tom Hardy, as the rest head back to “civilization.” After which it’s safe to say that things don’t go too well for Glass as the money-grubbing Fitzgerald double-crosses him and leaves him for dead precipitating a series of deadly encounters that left me gasping for air and shaken to the heart of my dramatic core.

This is just superb, grueling, bloody and beautiful filmmaking! Inarritu adds some exquisite artistic touches and the cinematography and vistas are a thing of beauty. The filmmaking team spent nine months shooting the film and they have given birth to an epic masterpiece which, while a simple revenge story at heart, beats a powerful drum to the testament of the human spirit and against-the-odds survival. If you’re not watching this on a massive cinema screen then you haven’t seen it at all!

OTHER CINEMA FILMS

THE BIG SHORT (2015) – (MARK: 9 out of 11)

This is a very entertaining film satire about the global economic crash and the 2008 housing meltdown. It simplified everything in a very amusing fashion and felt like an extended American Office, both in style and humour. Steve Carell and Christian Bale are on particularly good form as are the rest of a very attractive case.  Bankers, Brokers, Regulators and the Government are presented as crooked, greedy, moronic or all of the above! I’m still shocked this actually happened as I have always held humanity in such high regard. NOT!

CREED (2015) – (MARK: 8 out of 11)

For a genre/franchise/boxing film CREED is a fantastic watch; full of emotional ups and downs. Stallone is terrific as ageing Rocky Balboa and this movie harked back to the raw quality of the first Rocky (1976). Ryan Coogler proved with Fruitvale Station (2013) he can direct real heartfelt drama and illustrates it once again here. The boxing scenes are impressive and Michael B. Jordan proves he is a very natural performer as the film delivers some proper knockout entertainment.

DANISH GIRL (2015) – (MARK: 7.5 out of 11)

Eddie Redmayne truly delivers in this story about Einar Wegener/Lili Elbe and their attempts to reassign gender. Alicia Vikander as Gerda Wegener is equally brilliant as Einar’s wife, who at first sees her husband’s flirtations with female impersonation as a game but realises it is much more than that. Overall, this is stunningly attractive filmmaking set in 1920s Copenhagen which could arguably have had a touch more dramatic bite. Yet, Tom Hooper is a formidable director of beautifully humane dramas and this is a touching testament to a person trapped and prepared to risk it all to escape.

 
THE HATEFUL EIGHT (2015) – (MARK: 9.5 out of 11)

Any other month this would have been my film of the month.  I love Westerns. I love Tarantino films (mostly). I love brilliant dialogue. I love lots of blood and violence.  Here QT remakes Reservoir Dogs (1992) via Agatha Christie, setting it in the snowy West of America circa 1870s.  It concerns eight hard-bitten souls consisting of criminals, bounty hunters and soldiers and the mayhem that ensues as they cross paths.

Set pretty much in one location there is tension and bullets galore by the end. However, the main strength lies in the ensemble cast firing verbal stingers at each other as trust breaks down and the characters turn against each other as the plot thickens. Kurt Russell, Walton Goggins and Samuel L. Jackson are real standouts and Jennifer Jason Leigh holds her own amidst the sweat and testosterone.

Though not as epic in stature as Django Unchained (2012), and in need of a wee trim, this is a fine movie which will improve on subsequent views. Tarantino is a proper auteur and can always be relied on to deliver an impressive work of entertainment. Mustn’t forget Ennio Morricone’s awesome score either, which haunts the scenes like the Reaper on collection day.

IN THE HEART OF THE SEA (2015) – (MARK: 7.5 out of 11)

Ever dependable Ron Howard has crafted an excellent adventure and survival story. A well evoked period drama Chris “Thor” Hemsworth takes to the high seas on the hunt for whales, only to come up against the white “monster” which would inspire Herman Melville’s literary classic Moby Dick. Men against nature and the elements always play well on the big screen and overall, it’s very solid entertainment. While the bookended script is old-fashioned by design it has subtext too, indicating the importance oil has always played within our society.

SPOTLIGHT (2015) – (MARK: 9 out of 11)

This is yet another Oscar-runner with an incredible true story at its heart. The film “spotlights” the Boston Globe’s investigation into endemic paedophilia and subsequent cover up by the Catholic Church. It’s a riveting story with a fantastic ensemble cast including Mark Ruffalo and Michael Keaton on very fine form.

Screenwriters Tom McCarthy and Josh Singer have crafted a sterling script that gets into the minutiae of a press investigation and also reveals the corruption and hypocrisy in organised religion, public relations and the legal system.  Just when you think people couldn’t get any lower stories like this highlight the darkness at the heart of humanity.  Thankfully, the press gang at the Boston Globe has proved more than just celebrity-baiters and given the victims of horrific abuse both a voice and justice.

TV, DVD, BLU RAY, NETFLIX and other STREAMERS

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ADAM AND PAUL (2004) – YOUTUBE – (MARK: 9 out of 11)

Irish black comedy about two junkies trying to get a hit; manages to be both hilarious and sad simultaneously. Great feature debut from Lenny Abrahamson.

AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN (2013) – NETFLIX – (MARK: 8 out of 11)

More bonkers horror as witchcraft, murder and voodoo mix to grisly and hilarious effect.


AND THEN THERE WERE NONE (2015) – BBC1 – (MARK: 8 out of 11)

Stylish drama with a stellar cast committing murder most foul in fine Agatha Christie adaptation.

BLUE RUIN (2014) – NETFLIX – (MARK: 6 out of 11)

Impressive low budget neo-noir let down by the bad plotting and unsympathetic lead protagonist. 

THE FALLING (2014) – AMAZON PRIME – (Mark: 6 out of 11)

Artful period drama about fainting young girls starts well but runs out of story by the end.

THE HUNTER (2011) – AMAZON PRIME – (Mark: 7 out of 11)

Intriguing Aussie drama as Willem Dafoe’s hired gun tracks down the last Tasmanian tiger.

ROME – SEASON 1 – (2005) – NETFLIX – (MARK – 8 out of 11)

Brilliant Caesarean drama with devilish plotting and bloodier battles plus a cracking cast.


SHERLOCK: THE ABOMINABLE BRIDE (2015) – BBC1 – (Mark: 8 out of 11)

Oh-so-clever-meta-drama featured Holmes & Watson on the trail of a ghostly murderess in a wedding dress. Stylish with little substance but entertaining nonetheless.

SLOW WEST (2014) – NOW TV – (Mark: 7 out of 11)

Idiosyncratic Western that is too pretentious in places, but saved by ever-excellent Michael Fassbender and a fine shoot-out at the end.

THEORY OF EVERYTHING (2014) – NOW TV – (Mark: 7 out of 11)

Eddie Redmayne bagged the Oscar for his portrait of Stephen Hawking in this beautifully acted, lovely looking, yet, dramatically tepid romance-biopic.

WHAT RICHARD DID (2012) – DVD – (Mark: 8 out of 11)

Slow moving but impactful drama from Lenny Abrahamson, as a rich teenager’s actions causes massive reverberations amidst an Irish family and the wider community.

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

THE VISIT (2015) – SKY STORE – (MARK: 2 out of 11)

Some said this was a return to form for M. Night Shyamalan – IT WASN’T! Dreadful supposed horror film with one of the most annoying child actors I’ve had the displeasure to witness.

Articles, Essays and Theory

GLOBAL MOURNING: DEATH AND THE ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA by PAUL LAIGHT

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GLOBAL MOURNING: DEATH AND THE (ANTI) SOCIAL MEDIA by PAUL LAIGHT

“All that live must die, passing through nature to eternity.”
William Shakespeare

Death: the final frontier.  The long anorexic finger of the reaper hangs over all of us and the annoying thing is we can do nothing about this. We are cold hard truth Cassandra.  We know we are going to die; we just don’t know when. The cruel irony of life is we don’t know why we are here or where we are going when it ends. Today alone – according to Google – the utter bastard that is death has taken approximately 150,000 people worldwide due to: illness, war, old age, murder, accidents, suicide, natural disaster and so on.  Of course we cannot grieve everyone but death is always magnified when we lose a famous or esteemed person. Recently we have lost musical genius David Bowie, acting gentleman Alan Rickman and hard-rocker Lemmy.

Of course these are sad losses to the art and entertainment worlds as all were esteemed entertainers who seemingly lived their lives to the full.  Bowie especially had a phenomenal talent for Phoenix-from-the-flames-like reinvention and for me remains one of the greatest songwriters this country has ever produced; while Rickman was a fine acting talent who always brought gravitas to every role. Lemmy was well, Lemmy: a hard-drinking-hard-playing-hard-drug-taking-mad-man!

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What I have observed is the various approaches to mourning across the world, media and more specifically the Internet, which generally explodes with a combination of emotions. More often than not humans also attack each other with Facebook and YouTube being especially brilliant for hilarious rows which quickly descend into personal attacks on parentage, religion, sexual preference; or whether someone’s Gran is a Nazi or not.

Ultimately, we all know death is a prick and people handle it in a variety of different ways, including:

  1. Overwhelming outpouring of emotion for the life lost.
  2. Praise and celebration of the artists’ work.
  3. Irreverent comments where people say “I didn’t know them so why be upset?”
  4. Aggressive comments which accuse people of “grief tourism”!
  5. Humorous retorts such as, “Bowie is dead at 69. Rickman is dead at 69. Donald Trump is NOT DEAD at 69!”
  6. Angry comments such as:   “I hate you God – you took Bowie and Rickman but Rupert Murdoch is still living and now getting married!”

Personally I prefer the silent contemplative response and the people who are overly negative and criticise people for “grief tourism” irk me a bit. Indeed, it especially annoys me when the whole “you did not know them — so why are you grieving” statements come out.  Well, I disagree with that because you do “know” them through their art and knowledge one has of their songs, acting, product and performances.

Surely, it’s instinctive to react to someone’s death?  Are people really using a famous persons’ death to gain attention for themselves?  Maybe they are; nothing surprises me with human beings. But to be honest, if they are holidaying in death and they’re not harming me then who cares!   Let’s face it even the “grief-trolls” or “haters” or whatever-you –want-to-call them are scared of death and their defensive, satirical or ironic approach is a valid way of dealing with death and grief. Therefore, I respect their reaction as that is how THEY are grieving.

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Ultimately, we’re all animals who get scared when illness and death comes a knocking and when a hero or an artist or someone famous dies we are all confronted with our OWN mortality and I suspect that is what we are most upset about.  I mean who actually thought David Bowie would die – the guy is immortal surely?!  But he has passed away and that is sad; but we should celebrate a wonderful life of creativity. We should also respect how a person chooses to grieve however over-the-top or emotional or irreverent or negative it may be. We are all human. Let’s just try and get on as we’re all in the same sinking boat. You win some – you lose some.  Nothing lasts forever; apart from death that is.

Articles, Cinema, Reviews

MY FAVOURITE FILMS OF 2015

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MY FAVOURITE FILMS OF 2015

Overall, 2015 was a highly satisfactory cultural year for me. I went to some cracking musical events including gigs by: The Prodigy, Johnny Marr and the Nozstock Festival. I attended the theatre more times than ever before notably Gypsy, View From The Bridge and Oppenheimer and watched some fine live comedy by Paul Foot and Stewart Lee. I also witnessed some marvellous television shows, both new and on catch-up including: Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle 3, Better Call Saul, Daredevil, Going Clear, American Horror Story (Seasons 1 & 2), South Park, Doctor Who, Gomorrah, Fargo (Season 1) to name a few.

Of course, the cinema remains my church; the hallowed place at which I preserve my holiest of prayer and last year was very enjoyable. Some big blockbuster films like Spectre and The Force Awakens were decent entertainment but not as great as many said. Marvel continued to hoover up the profits on behalf of Disney and their Age of Ultron was a decent enough episode in the franchise. So, here are my favouritest films I saw last year. They are not necessarily the best or most artsy but they are the ones where I left the cinema feeling uplifted intellectually and emotionally.  Either that or they were just bloody good entertainment!

Here they are in alphabetical order with marks out of 11 plus a quote from my original review.

**THERE MAY BE SPOILERS**

ANT-MAN (2015)

“It’s simplistic narrative-wise but what it does have is a fizzing script full of zingers and comedic moments as well as some great action set-pieces built around a complex but well-orchestrated final act heist.” (Mark: 8.5 out of 11)

 

BEASTS OF NO NATION (2015)

“This is a stunning drama which leaves you battered and burnt emotionally.  It’s about a civil war in Africa and the child soldiers whom are ripped from their families and made to fight for despotic mad men. Don’t watch if you are easily upset.” (Mark: 9 out of 11)

BIRDMAN (2014)

“. . .an intellectual and artsy dark comedy about loads of stuff involving: celebrity, identity, artistic credibility, insanity, family, f*cked up egos, vanity as well as analysing the creative process. It is NOT a superhero film but a satire on that kind of thing” (Mark: 9/11)

 

CAROL (2015)

“Todd Haynes beautifully shot and designed period love story has a standout performance from Cate Blanchett and great support from Rooney Mara. . . poetic storytelling, deft direction, stunning design and photography plus the cinematic score of the year from Carter Burwell.”  (Mark: 8.5/11)

DHEEPAN (2015)

“. . . brilliant character study about immigrants in France, attempting to forge a life in the crime-ridden estates of Paris. What starts as a humane tale of survival crosses over into explosive thriller territory by the end.” (Mark: 9/11)

 

FOXCATCHER (2014)

“A powerful and haunting tragedy with incredibly subtle direction, this complex psychological thriller which shines a light on billionaire John DuPont and his fascination with fraternal Olympic wrestlers Mark and Dave Schultz” (Mark: 9/11)

JOHN WICK (2014)

“As John Wick, Keanu Reeves absolutely blows the back doors off as a “retired” assassin who rampages after the gangsters who killed his dog.” (Mark: 8.5/11)

 

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE (2014)

“Pitch perfect pace and delivery by cast and crew as the script hybridizes kitchen sink, action and spy genres. To quote the parlance of our age: “The film is well sick, bruv!” (Mark: 9/11)

 

THE LOBSTER (2015)

“It’s weird, wonderful and very funny as Colin Farrell plays a single man – in the not-too-distant-future – who has a limited time to find a mate or he’ll be turned into an animal of his choice. Obviously, he chooses the eponymous crustacean and what ensues is a peculiarly dark and hilarious satire of human relationships and dating mores. . . “ (Mark: 9.5/11)

 

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (2015)

“There isn’t really any plot to speak of on the Fury Road but what you get is an incredible visual feast with carnage galore and some incredible stunts in a barren yet beautiful desert setting.  Hardy and Theron share great chemistry within the action and Miller executes some mesmerising moments of dialogue-free pure cinema.” (Mark: 9.5/11)

 

PREDESTINATION (2014) 

“. . .if you like any of the following: TimeCrimes (2007), Looper (2012), The Adjustment Bureau (2011), Time After Time (1979), Back to the Future (1985), The Terminator (1984), Doctor Who etcetera… then do watch this one. It’s a fine low-budget time-travel film starring Ethan Hawke and breakout performance from brilliant Sarah Snook.” (Mark: 9/11)

 

WHIPLASH (2014) 

“Echoes of Officer and a Gentlemen (1992) and Full Metal Jacket (1987) with the fearsome Drill Sergeant battering the young grunts but at a middle-class music school – sterling stuff! (Mark: 9/11)

 

WILD TALES (2015) 

“. . . delivers a dark sarcasm and hilarity via six separate stories concerning themes of: revenge, political corruption, class division and bloody violence! It opens with a breath-taking little prologue featuring a horrific incident on a plane and culminates in arguably the wildest tale when the Bride goes on the rampage at her wedding. The film delivers a full deck of twists that master of the macabre Roald Dahl would be proud of.” (Mark: 10/11)

Articles, Cinema, Short films

GOD & TARGETS: TWELVE SCREENPLAYS BY CHRISTMAS

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GOD & TARGETS: TWELVE SCREENPLAYS BY CHRISTMAS from PAUL LAIGHT

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” Frederic Nietzsche

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I have over the years always wondered why I am alive. I mean: what’s the point of life?  Why are humans here at all?  Are we just animals or are we meant for something more?  God or faith is one such thing that has papered over those cracks for some people. However, I am not a religious person as I prefer to believe in my own eyes, ears and experience. I am open to theories and hypothesis but do not require ideological brainwashing to help me get through the day.

Blasphemy it may be but much of my spirituality is gained from worshipping movies, music, sport and other cultural interests.  Of course, family and loved ones are the priority and quite rightly give my life meaning and structure.  But what keeps a person going from one day to the next?  Money, work, exercise, drugs, travel, hobbies and the sheer desire just to stay alive are up there.  Indeed, fear of the abyss can be another powerful reason to keep going; death is a great motivator!

 
Generally speaking my philosophy is be good to others, don’t be a cunt and if you can’t be positive make sure your negativity is either funny or interesting. I don’t need a God or a set of spurious ideologies to live my life. But, what I do like though from year-to-year is some kind of creative or personal target with which to propel me through the months. It gives me focus and takes my mind off death. There’s also a delusion in my psychology that perhaps one day my creative ability could get rewarded either in some form of employment or financial reward. You never know! Miracles do happen.

Targets of late have included:

  • Lose weight and get fit.
  • Start a diary where I record my events and thoughts through the year.
  • Write and produce a cultural blog reviewing films, shows and events.
  • Give up smoking.
  • Write and perform comedy at one of the Fringe Festivals.
  • Write, film and edit my own short film productions.
  • To train and achieve a 10 mile distance run within a 12 month period.
  • Do something for a Charity.

I can honestly say I have achieved these targets over the last ten years and in 2015 I decided to set myself another goal. On top of continuing my blog and diary and fitness routines I decided I would set about writing TWELVE short film screenplays in a year. Given I have a full-time job and am a parent this is quite a big ask. But on December 21st 2015 I hit this target! Good for me!!

So, for my own benefit I have listed the short screenplays I have written and the ideas behind them.  Here’s to 2016: small victories are the way forward!

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WAITING FOR GODDARD – DRAMA

PITCH

PAUL MORRIS is owed money by his so-called friend GODDARD and desperately needs it back. However, he’s in for a very long wait.

PREMISE

This is a snapshot story of friendship and betrayal. I wanted to write something that was simple to shoot and also a kind of homage to the opening sequence of Once Upon a Time in America.

SCREENWASH – COMEDY

PITCH

Comedy short satirising film shows incorporating reviews, clips and trailers of classic and upcoming film releases.

PREMISE

METRO LIVE is a bold, colourful and fun new TV channel serving London. It’s youthful and energetic and punchy and its USP is many of the shows are presented ‘LIVE’.  SCREENWASH is its ‘LIVE’ weekly movie review show.

The show takes the structure of new movie release reviews; classic DVD/movie reviews; articles on featured movie director/actor; an artistic strand where he champions a gay/lesbian/black Eastern European filmmaker etc.; movie news and forthcoming presentations including trailers; competitions etc.

I basically wanted to embrace my love of movies through quick fire comedy sketches structured within a review show format. I also wanted to satirise the contemporary hipster styles and pretentious nature of arthouse reviewers. It’s probably my most ambitious script as it also incorporates a crumbling relationship between the presenters of the programme.

THE STAIRWELL – SURREAL COMEDY-DRAMA

PITCH

Postman, JOHN MILLER, gets trapped in a spatial loop on a building stairwell and can find no way of escape.

PREMISE

This story is classic-one-location-short-film-low-budget-territory with a Postman trapped in a spatial-time-loop unable to escape. I was inspired by my love of Dr Who as well as the notion of characters being trapped by circumstances and a dead-end job.

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SOUND WOMAN – COMEDY

PITCH

MARTHA FOLEY wakes up one day and finds her every sound, movement and action is replaced by a movie sound effect.


PREMISE

When I was editing my comedy documentary The Rock ‘N’ Droll Experience I used some sound effects and I got the idea from that. I just liked the idea of experimenting with the form and content of sound effects. It’s a simple, silly idea with which to have fun with so for example our protagonist yawns and it sound like a duck quack. There’s no depth involved just a one-joke short.

MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS – COMEDY

PITCH

At the cinema ALICE and her boyfriend JOHN are terrorised by the noises made by fellow filmgoer, DARREN. When an argument ensues between them the characters from the film also take umbrage as chaos ensues.

PREMISE

This was inspired by my own experience of rude crisp and popcorn munchers at the cinema. So I set out to write something ridiculous and funny that deals with that particular pet hatred of mine. The idea of the characters on the cinema screen coming to life and interacting with “real” people is not new and clearly influenced by Woody Allen’s classic Purple Rose of Cairo.

SAMARITAN – DRAMA

PITCH

Two strangers reach out for each other on Beachy Head.


PREMISE

This is a very heavy drama about the desire to commit suicide. My filmmaking partner Gary O’Brien suggested I write something about an older man and younger woman but without any suggestion of anything sleazy.  On TV and film older males are often characterised as “dirty old men” and he wanted to portray something nobler. Lastly, I had visited Beachy Head recently and found it to be a beautiful place tinged with a suggestion of tragedy as it is apparently a suicide spot for people in the UK.

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C’EST FINI – EROTIC DRAMA/COMEDY

PITCH

HOSTAGE and KIDNAPPER find themselves attracted to each other in twisty crime drama.


PREMISE

Essentially an extended sketch I wanted to write something that was risqué and a little bit saucy so utilised oft-used kidnapping scenario for a dark story with a twist in the tale.


THE SHREDDER – COMEDY/HORROR

PITCH

Workaholic JONATHAN LAKE finds himself terrorised by a Shredder while working late at the office.

PREMISE

As someone who has spent long hours missing their family at a dead end job I wanted to do a simple morality horror story. Here the main character is committing more time to work than his family and the Shredder is a necessary evil to remind of what is actually more important.  The horror genre is always good for symbolism of this sort and this film is silly but with a serious message.

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RE-CYLE – POETIC DRAMA

PITCH

The up-and down journey of a bike from the United Kingdom to Africa.


PREMISE

In Britain, millions of bikes are thrown away or lie unused in sheds, whilst many people in Africa have no access to transport of any kind. So, I wanted to chart the story of a bike from the UK and follow its journey to a new home in Africa. A bit of a preachy one this one with a serious message as in the UK and Western world we take so much for granted and chuck things without making proper use of their potential.

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TOLERANCE – HORROR

PITCH

SADIE CORT plots evil revenge on the sex-addicted boyfriend who did her wrong!


PREMISE

Good old-fashioned revenge story here with a little twist. Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe and Roald Dahl this is a sweetly plotted two-hander which I really enjoyed writing because it’s funny and involves bloody death.

FAMILY TIES – HORROR/COMEDY

PITCH

Having killed his father and made it look like a suicide, SIMON BORG is hunted down by the tie he strangled GERRY BORG with.


PREMISE

Similar to The Shredder this finds an inanimate object – a Tie – taking on anthropomorphic powers and wreaking havoc.  It’s obviously ridiculous but I like the idea of an object representing an emotion or feeling; and in this case it is guilt.  Also, I love the idea of playing this one straight with heavy drama and homage to Jaws (1975) thrown in.

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YOU HAVE A NEW FOLLOWER – DRAMA/MONOLOGUE

PITCH

Following a mysterious time-slip,  KEVIN MANN’S life is thrown into flux when he finds out he has a double.

PREMISE

This idea was inspired by the many doppelganger films and stories around and I wanted to have a go at one of those. I also wanted to write something about a really normal, “boring” person and how they might react to having another version of themselves in existence.

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Articles, Cinema, My Cinematic Romance

MY CINEMATIC ROMANCE #7: JAKE GYLLENHAAL

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MY CINEMATIC ROMANCE #7:  JAKE GYLLENHAAL

Here’s another filmic sojourn into the roles of one of my favouritest actors. Last time I looked at Robert DeNiro while today it’s the difficult-to-spell yet ultra-talented Jake Gyllenhaal. Jake was a former child actor who has progressed into one of the finest leading acting stars around. Here are SIX of his best roles.

**CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS**

DONNIE DARKO (2001)

This genre-busting maelstrom of sci-fi-time-travel-teen-rites-of-passage-meets-weird-super-anti-hero movie is obtuse but powerful. Gyllenhaal confirmed himself as a dark, brooding force of nature as the young American being haunted by strange emotions and demonic rabbits. Gyllenhaal’s bravura performance somehow knitted together the string of imaginative concepts and pain of growing up, making this a mesmerizing cult classic.

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (2005)

This beautiful heartbreaker incredibly lost the Best Film Oscar to Crash (2005); but we all know there is no justice in the world kids!   Jake Gyllenhaal’s flashy cowboy falls for Heath Ledger’s less verbose ranch hand in a moving story of forbidden love within a masculine western setting. Gyllenhaal and Ledger are incredible with Ang Lee directing Annie Proux’s story with a deft and wistful touch. Much is made that this is a “gay” film but it is not – it is a very human story which will break the heart of anyone who has struggled in love.

ZODIAC (2007)

While frustrating in terms of satisfactory narrative closure (because it’s a true story, Paul!), David Fincher’s crime classic contains a series of brilliant burnt-out-obsessive performances from Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jnr and Mark Ruffalo. Each character becomes fixated on the identity of the vicious and random Zodiac killer including Gyllenhaal’s comic-strip artist. It’s a slow-burning film which benefits from Fincher’s shadowy style and there’s a palpable sense of creeping paranoia throughout which chills the bones.

SOURCE CODE (2011)

I loved this fast-paced, sci-fi actioner with a twist-in-the-tale from Moon (2009) director Duncan Jones.  It’s basically Groundhog Day-on-a-train as Gyllenhaal plays a soldier stuck in an eight-minute-loop trying to both foil a terrorist attack and discover where his identity has gone. The action fizzes along and as the plot twists and turns rarely allowing you to catch breath.  Gyllenhaal carries the film with both physical and emotional power right up to the breathtaking surprise ending.

PRISONERS (2013)

It was a tough choice between this brilliant crime story and Gyllenhaal’s doppleganging performance in Denis Villeneuve’s weirdly compelling Enemy (2013); however, I chose this one as the story was so enjoyable. Fantastic acting from our mate Jake as the preposterously named Detective Loki tracking down Hugh Jackman’s kidnapped young daughter and her friend. Jackman and Gyllenhaal are both full of obsessive angst and rage in a taut thriller which had me gripped throughout.

NIGHTCRAWLER (2014)

Gyllenhaal should’ve been Oscar nominated for this incredible turn as sociopathic self-starting media-bloodhound Lou Bloom. His rendition of Bloom was of a ghost; a shell of a man with little in the way of backstory and yet through his dynamic performance we absorb the horror of his character. I was drawn in so much by Gyllenhaal’s magnetic performance, and the film is a compelling satire on the parasitic press as vampires draining the life out of humanity.

Articles, Cinema, Classic Movie Scenes, Doctor Who, South Park

APOCALYPSE WHEN? VISIONS OF FUTURE EARTH

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APOCALYPSE WHEN? VISIONS OF FUTURE EARTH

“It’s the end of the World as we know it – and I feel fine!” Michael Stipe

Driven by a romantic fog and a momentary lack of aforethought I bought tickets for a Singlonga Sound of Music (1965) event for my girlfriend’s birthday recently. It’s her favourite musical and I thought: try it – you might enjoy it. Well, I liked the film: an opposites-attract-love-story tied up with a formidable musical presentation beautifully performed, choreographed, directed and lit.

But what I did not enjoy was the preposterous introduction/warm-up compered by a rubbish Drag Queen plus a plethora of drunken morons dressed up as: nuns, Maria, Austrians, brown-paper-and-strings, and a goat!  Actually, I must say, some of the costumes were impressive; but, call me a stick-in-the-mud, I don’t need to fancy-dress up to enjoy something because I have no desire to externalise my personality. I can actually use my brain and a thing called imagination. Still, each to their own I suppose.

Anyway, once the awful horror-show introduction was over the film itself – even the Singalonga aspect – was pretty bearable! The Sound of Music is a good film!  But my underlying memory of the night is of a drunken man dressed as a Nun shouting at the Prince Charles Cinema employee complaining that a member of staff had been rude to his party because they were texting during the film.  His exact words were:

“Your staff are out of order! I want a full apology or we’re going on Social Media to complain.  We’re going on Facebook! THIS WILL GO VIRAL! THEN YOU’LL BE SORRY!!”

And at that moment in time in the Prince Charles Cinema Foyer, as I sipped my Hobgoblin ale from a plastic cup, I recalled idiot global governments bombing hell out of Syria while viewing this over-lubricated Man-Nun yelling; and I just thought we’re doomed as a species aren’t we?! Perhaps not today or tomorrow but, irrespective of all the great things humans have achieved, Judgement Day is inevitable.

What kind of future do you want, Paul, I asked myself?  Why not have a look at some visions of the Apocalypse as seen on the film and television screens. I mean you have to hand it to humanity; it’s able to distract itself from the possible end of the world by creating stories and entertainment ABOUT the end of the world!   Here’s some of the best I could think of.

**THIS CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS**

PLANET OF THE APES (1969)

Poor old Charlton Heston never had much luck with the future as his characters often ended up as dystopic visions of hell. Such films included: Soylent Green (1973), Omega Man (1971) and the classic Planet of the Apes where simian humanoids are running the place enslaving the savage natives.

MAD MAX: ROAD WARRIOR (1981)

In between the road-raging original and this brilliant sequel there was some kind of global nuclear meltdown hitherto bringing about a dusty wasteland where fuel is God and humans will kill to get their hands on it!  Mmmm. . . doesn’t sound like now at all does it?

THE TERMINATOR (1984)

Bloody Internet, sorry Skynet!  We create these wonderful computers to help us with everyday life including our Missile Defence Systems and they turn on us!  Only one man – who hasn’t been born yet – can save us from a life of death and slavery at the hands of the machines. What do you mean: it’s better than your current life?!

THE MATRIX (1999)

Damned Artificial Intelligence enslaving humanity and feasting on our fluids and organs for energy in some sick, twisted vision of a futuristic Harvest festival. Then again, compared to some of the shitty office jobs I’ve had I think I’d choose the Matrix over those; just don’t tell me I’m in the Matrix so I can use films and TV to distract me from my physical torment!

SOUTH PARK – GO GOD GO/GO GOD VII (2006)

Pissed off that he cannot get the latest Nintendo Wii, impatient Eric Cartman accidentally freezes himself and ends up in a no-religion 2546 future where talking Sea Otters and humans battle it out in a wickedly-funny-Richard-Dawkins-bashing-Buck-Rogers-parodying-classic-two-parter.

WATERWORLD (1995)

In this future we will basically live in the water, grow gills and dirt will be our most priceless commodity. Well, that’s what will occur according to this apocalyptic-polar-ice-caps-melting-earth-swimming-pool-with-pirates movie. At the time it was one of the most expensive film flops in history but actually wasn’t bad with Kevin Costner playing a soaked version of Mad Max.

TWELVE MONKEYS (1995)

Seeing someone close to you die in front of your eyes as a child is not a future you really need is it?  Following the opening of this brilliant film prisoners are sent back in time to find the cause of the deadly viral apocalypse. The awesome mind of Terry Gilliam filtering Chris Marker’s classic short La Jetée makes this an intelligent and exciting end-of-the-world blockbuster.

DR WHO – THE END OF THE WORLD (2005)

Of course, up and down and across the years the Doctor and his companion(s) have witnessed the end of Earth and time itself on many occasions. In this episode though Rose, in her first adventure with Christopher Eccelston’s Doctor, sees the apocalypse via a satellite station called Platform One. The Sun has expanded yet the destruction of Earth has never looked so stunning, sad or beautiful.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!

Articles, Cinema, My Cinematic Romance

MY CINEMATIC ROMANCE #6: ROBERT DENIRO

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MY CINEMATIC ROMANCE #6:  ROBERT DENIRO

“If you don’t know Robert DeNiro – he used to be an actor.” Doug Stanhope

In a recent stand-up special Beer Hall Putsch drunken, irreverent funny man Doug Stanhope does an extended routine about Jake La Motta. During the hilarious piece he refers to Raging Bull and more specifically Robert DeNiro. As the above quote suggests DeNiro’s career in the last few years has been more akin to that of a jobbing journeyman with the occasional flash of former genius thrown in.

With forgettable roles in Grudge Match (2013), Killer Elite (2011), Showtime (2002) and many more, his C.V. reads like something Steven Seagal would be hard-pushed to be proud of. He has, it seems recently, aside from a few David O. Russell films, been picking acting roles based on scheduling and a pay-cheque rather than their artistic merits. But hey who am I to worry about a man making a few quid; we all have to pay the rent!

Yet, from a craft perspective it is worth remembering DeNiro appeared in films by some of the great directors such as: Scorcese, Bertolucci, DePalma, Mann, Tarantino and Coppola. At one stage he was the greatest ever living actor and here are SIX roles to remind us of that. It was a tough choice but these are my FAVOURITE performances of, perhaps THE finest actor of a generation.

**MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**

MEAN STREETS (1973)

Harvey Keitel is the lead character, Charlie, in this classic-early-Scorcese-urban-street-epic, but DeNiro steals every scene as the ducker-and-diver Johnny Boy. It’s a funny and violent performance containing that trademark grin, verbal dexterity and cool intensity which would become hallmarks of the young Italian’s subsequent performances. His Johnny Boy is flighty and unreliable compared to Keitel’s solid gangster-wannabe and their scenes together are a particular joy as Johnny Boy drives Charlie mad with his irresponsible nature.

TAXI DRIVER (1976)

Isolation and slow psychosis have never been so compelling in DeNiro’s portrayal of lonely anti-hero Travis Bickle. Schrader, Scorcese and DeNiro were young, edgy artists who delivered a character study which found Vietnam veteran, Bickle, trying to stay sane on the bleak, venal streets of New York. DeNiro bleeds desperation and desire for love and hope. Bickle so desperately tries to fit in with society and do right by people but he’s just too wired to achieve this socially. However, via mania and violence he finds redemption and the acknowledgement of the humanity he so desperately craves.

RAGING BULL (1980)

In terms of marrying both a physical and psychologically formidable performance then THIS is probably DeNiro’s finest role. Obviously he’s famous for putting on a shedload of weight for prize-fighting role of Jake La Motta, however, it’s not a gimmick to sell a film. No, the weight gain is part of the character’s arc as he moves from prime physical masculinity and deteriorates to a fat, useless mess of a man who has pushed all his loved ones away due to mounting paranoia and self-loathing. DeNiro designs a character who hates himself and others and whose ability to suck up punishment and pain is a boon to his boxing ability but detrimental to his sanity. In this performance DeNiro proves there is most certainly method in the madness; a stunning film for which the Italian deservedly won a Best Actor Oscar!

KING OF COMEDY (1983)

In this stunning, dark comedy of embarrassment DeNiro is the deluded stand-up comedian who is SO desperate to get a break he kidnaps a leading chat show host portrayed by the wonderfully jaded Jerry Lewis. DeNiro is brilliant at all forms of madness whether it be: psychos, paranoiacs or the obsessively maladjusted such as hapless Pupkin. I can identify with the character though as he is just so desperate to gain fame his persistence, if not his methods, are actually something to be admired. Not known for his comic roles generally, DeNiro is fantastically funny with his skippy walk, bad dress sense, ticks, delivery and imaginary conversations with the celebrities he so badly longs to work aside. You know what too: his stand-up comedy isn’t actually that bad either. Overall, stalking and obsession have never been so funny or painful.

MIDNIGHT RUN (1988)

What! No Godfather II! No Deerhunter (1978)! No Heat (1995)! And no Casino (1995). Not trying to be contrary but I love this film. It is a rollicking road movie and concerns ulcerated bail-bondsmen, Jack Walsh (DeNiro), who must take a fastidious accountant (Grodin) on a “midnight run” to ensure he testifies against a violent gang boss (Dennis Farina). Obviously, as this is a buddy movie the two “opposite” characters bicker and fight over the course of the story but eventually settle their differences and find a common bond. The pace never lets up as the two “rivals” use every form of transport possible to get across country and it was great to see DeNiro in a less serious role cutting loose with a witty and zinging script.  DeNiro brings a world weary pain and cynical humour to a great genre character film.

GOODFELLAS (1990)

As far back as I can remember this has always been my favourite gangster film. Scorcese, Pileggi, Pesci, Liotta and DeNiro were all on fire here in this epic ensemble character story focussing on the rags-to-riches-to-rags-again-narrative of mobster Henry Hill. Yes, Liotta is the lead and Pesci won the Oscar but DeNiro steals pretty much all his scenes as Jimmy “The Gent” Conway. His characterisation is of a charming man who is in fact a bloodthirsty yet charismatic career criminal. DeNiro’s arc shows a man graduating from lorry-jacks to masterminding one of the biggest robberies ever in American history before descending into paranoia and an aging gangster always looking over his shoulder.

DeNiro would give other commanding or at least interesting performances later in his career, for example: Cape Fear (1991), Casino (1995), Heat (1995), Everybody’s Fine (2009), Jackie Brown (1997) and Silver Linings Playbook (2012) but his CV since Goodfellas is, if I’m honest, very patchy. So let us not forget that he has provided some of the most memorable celluloid performances ever. Yes! I’m talking to you!

Articles, Cinema, Classic Movie Scenes, Television

“YOU’RE HAVING A BATH” – SOME GREAT MOVIE BATHROOM SCENES

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“YOU’RE HAVING A BATH” – SOME GREAT MOVIE BATHROOM SCENES

I’m unsure why but I thought it may be fun to look at some classic movie bathroom scenes.  Perhaps to take my mind off the horrible conflict in Syria which has escalated now?  Perhaps just to remind us how great some of the films on this list are?  Anyway, the bathroom is a place where we spend the beginning/middle/end of our day cleansing ourselves or relaxing or having some ME time. It also happens to be a good place hide, fight, murder and haunt people in culminating in some classic scenes of horror, comedy and drama.

(NOTE TO PEDANTS: most of these scenes are exclusive to the actual bathroom but there could be slight toilet crossover!)

**CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS**

LES DIABOLIQUES (1955) – HENRI-GEORGES CLOUZOT

DO NOT WATCH THIS CLIP IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE FILM!!   IT GIVES AWAY THE WHOLE END!!

A massive influence on Psycho (1960) this story of murder and betrayal at a boarding school in France is a brilliant and devious thriller. It also has one of the scariest ending of all time!

PSYCHO (1960) – ALFRED HITCHOCK

THAT shower scene!  Need I say more!

THE SHINING (1980) – STANLEY KUBRIK

“Here’s Johnny!”   Bathrooms and toilets represent danger throughout when Jack encounters a naked nefarious women and the creepy butler earlier in the story. But, after a slow-burning descent into madness Jack Torrance finally cracks with Nicholson on fine maniacal form in this iconic scene from the Kubrik classic!

SCARFACE (1983) – BRIAN DEPALMA

Tony Montana’s rise from “political refugee” to peaky cocaine King is not without its violent troughs. One such scene occurs when he witnesses a colleague ripped apart by a chainsaw. I feel sorry for the cleaner of the apartment block after this wicked sequence.

NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984) – WES CRAVEN

You’ve had a hard week and you need to soak your bones and a dead serial killer invades your bath-time dreams. You don’t need that do you!  Great nod to Jaws (1975) too in this horrific scene.


FULL METAL JACKET (1987) – STANLEY KUBRIK

The disintegration of Private Pyle (Vincent D’Onofrio) at the hands of Sgt. Hartman is a grim series featuring physical and mental torture. The episodes are painful and microcosmic in relation to what military life can do to a human being. This tragic latrine scene is memorable and unexpectedly brutal as it culminates in bloody death.

FATAL ATTRACTION (1987) – ADRIAN LYNE

The film that gave us the phrase “bunny boiler” is a taut, scary thriller of the sex, lies and obsession variety.  The fantastic scare-ending though is the one that really sticks in the memory as Glenn Close goes mental following harsh rejection by Michael Douglas’ have-your-cake-and-eat-it-cheat.

THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998) – ETHAN AND JOEL COEN

The Coen Brothers classic stoner detective film has many, many classic scenes but I defy any writer to come up with a comedic concept funnier than a character being threatened in a bath by nihilists with a ferret!  Pure comedy gold!

WHAT LIES BENEATH (2000) – ROBERT ZEMECKIS

Zemeckis made this film in between shooting of Castaway (2000) while Tom Hanks lost loads of weight and it’s a really decent suspense thriller.  Getting drugged by your husband and unable to move is not the kind of date night you imagine will happen. Indeed, never has the creeping fill of a bath been so terrifying!

TRAINING DAY (2001) – ANTOINE FUQUA

At first watch I thought this scene was a bit of a narrative cheat. However, with a shotgun at Ethan Hawke’s head the suspense is palpable and how he escapes is fitting. Because, this clever and ruthless urban Western is about karma and retribution; with Hoyt’s earlier noble actions saving him from certain death.

DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004) – ZACH SNYDER

Before he set about ruining the Superman franchise Zach Snyder made some decent facsimiles of other artists work such as 300 (2006) and this souped-up George Romero remake.  The early scenes are the most dramatic because the bloodthirsty zombies are out the traps like Usain Bolt, as Sarah Polley finds when she’s trapped in her bathroom.

CASINO ROYALE (2006) – MARTIN CAMPBELL

This sequence rebooted Bond for the Millennium perfectly as he takes down a hardy spy in the bathroom while confirming his “00” status in the process. It’s a brutal, clinical and a perfect prologue for a great Bond film. The scene is touchingly counterpointed when Bond calms Vesper Lynd down in the shower in an altogether less violent scene later on.

Articles, Classic Movie Scenes, Essays and Theory, Television

ALCOHOLICS ASSEMBLE! SOME “GREAT” ON-SCREEN DRUNKS!

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ALCOHOLICS ASSEMBLE!  SOME “GREAT” ON-SCREEN DRUNKS! 

“I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. It’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.”
— W.C. Fields, Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

Cinema and booze have always been two of my favourite things to distract me before I stagger off to the great pub in the sky!  So, why not have a look at some of the great drunks, characters and performances I have enjoyed over the years on the box or at the cinema.

AL PACINO – SCARFACE (1983)

While the rise of Pacino’s monstrous Cocaine-Capitalist owes much to narcotics and murder, he also plays a mean and nasty drunk. This is seen most notably in the restaurant scene where he spits and spews insults at his wife and the upper-middle classes surrounding him.  Never has intoxication been so nasty and yet as sociologically adroit.

ARTHUR HOUSMAN – LAUREL AND HARDY (VARIOUS)

Laurel and Hardy are still the funniest people ever committed to celluloid but they had also had a fine “mess” of supporting actors. One of them was Arthur Housman, who was the go-to-guy when you wanted a funny lush.  I reckon acting drunk is far more difficult than it looks but this guy nails it perfectly.

BARNEY GUMBLE – THE SIMPSONS (1989 – )

Barney Gumble’s status as a boozer is so legendary he actually makes Homer’s drinking look normal.  Rarely is Barney sober and even his catchphrase is a supersonic belch from the pits of hell.  Occasionally he will clean up or venture into normality but Barney will always be a hilarious alcoholic we’ve come to love.

BILLY BOB THORNTON – BAD SANTA (2003)

We all love a Christmas piss-up but Billy Bob Thornton’s drunken Santa does it all year round. He basically drinks in order to escape the shittiness of his life and a job he hates.  This film is one of the greatest comedies of all time as Willie Stokes hits rock bottom and the self-destruct button too!

DEAN MARTIN – RIO BRAVO (1959)

Part of the original Rat Pack, Dean Martin, was known for his wild drinking ways off-stage.  So, when he played drunkard, the Dude, in classic Western Rio Bravo (1959) there’s a thick varnishing of truth brought to the role. Martin’s Dude is a ridiculed because of his over-reliance on booze, thus the character attempts to get back some self-respect in a narrative heavy on machismo and redemption.

DENZIL WASHINGTON – FLIGHT (2012)

A jaw-dropping plane crash and landing introduces us to super-pilot Whip Whitaker. He should be celebrated as a hero but the character’s downfall is he performed this death-defying feat while high on drugs and alcohol.  Washington is incredible in this brilliant evocation of a man battling addiction and his struggle is brilliantly orchestrated by Robert “Back to the Future” Zemeckis.

LEE REMICK & JACK LEMMON – DAYS OF WINE AND ROSES (1962)

This heart-breaking film — with brilliant performances from Lee Remick and Jack Lemmon — shows the power alcohol has as it systematically shakes you like a rabid dog until one’s soul is hollowed out. The story shows a couple succumbing to the demon drink after which their relationship is torn apart. It’s also demonstrates the power of AA in aiding treatment for recovery.

MICKEY ROURKE – BARFLY (1987)

Charles Bukowski was one of the great boozers of all time as he actually drank incessantly AND became a celebrated author. He didn’t just write about drinking and women but also his failure to reconcile with the futility of existence.  Thankfully such dark materials made some great books as well as Barfly starring Mickey Rourke and Faye Dunaway. It’s painful to watch but a faithful rendition of Bukowski’s jet-black wit and mordant writing.

MICHAEL ELPHICK – AUF WEIDERSEHEN PET (1983 – 1984)

Elphick was a stalwart of British TV and cinema for years and brought a grizzled but often empathetic quality to his roles. He was comfortable as the lovable rogue and vicious hard man; none more so when he played psychotic drunken Irishmen McGowan in classic 80s comedy-drama Auf Weidersehen Pet. His character was so scary even Jimmy Nail’s Oz was fearful of him. Sadly, Elphick himself would pass away due to alcohol-related illness.

NICOLAS CAGE – LEAVING LAS VEGAS (1995)

The “Town Drunk” and “Tart with A Heart” are staple characters throughout our culture and these archetypes are breathed new life through incredible performances by Nicolas Cage and Elizabeth Shue.  Cage’s writer is determined to drink himself to death while Shue’s hooker is just trying to survive. They are an unlikely romantic couple as this hard-hitting drama plays like a touching prayer to the bottle, the gutter and the emptiness of existence without love.

PETER COOK AND DUDLEY MOORE – DEREK AND CLIVE GET THE HORN (1979)

Derek and Clive were the filthy alter-egos of comedians Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. They released a series of sexually explicit, racist, sexist, homophobic, scatological and scurrilously hilarious albums in the 1970s. Moore and Cook basically got smashed and committed to tape a string of obnoxious sketches unsuitable to man nor beast. Both were alcoholics and the film version of Derek and Clive illustrates that. Dudley Moore would even have a box office hit as millionaire pisshead Arthur (1981) but this film, shot as they were kind of splitting up, is raw, funny and at times painful to watch.

RAY MILLAND – LOST WEEKEND (1949)

This dark noir is another filmic masterpiece from Billy Wilder. Ray Milland’s writer battles the bottle and those closest to him in an attempt to feed his addiction. Milland won an Oscar and not only lost weight but stayed in a mental institution in preparation. It’s an important film as it was one of the first to show alcoholic’s destructive nature rather than present the comedic drunk that had appeared mostly on screen up until that then.

RICHARD E. GRANT – WITHNAIL AND I (1987)

“We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!”

This often quoted but rarely bettered screenplay is one of the greatest I have ever witnessed and read; brimming with towering poetry, bilious insults and drunken repartee.  Richard E. Grant is incredible as the paralytic, pathetic and cowardly actor who with Paul McGann’s eponymous ‘I’ for company laments a lack of career opportunities at the fag-end of the 1960s. It’s a hedonistic and bitter sweet joy with Withnail drinking every liquid known to humanity attempting to obliterate the now to avoid the tomorrow. Unbelievably, Richard E. Grant was teetotal so director Bruce Robinson had to get him “pissed” in preparation for a role he never bettered in his whole career.

W.C. FIELDS – VARIOUS

W. C. Fields was a comedy genius who began on the stages of Vaudeville as a juggler and became one of the most famous drunks on the silver screen. One may argue he simply transferred his alcoholic persona onto film but there’s some skill in being able to turn a weakness into a towering comedic strength. His one-liners and insults have gone down in history as some of the smartest and sarcastic ever written and when compiling this list his was one of the first name’s on it.

WILLIE ROSS – RITA SUE AND BOB TOO (1987)

Last but not least is the imperious drunk Willie Ross.  His is the best lagging-pisshead acting I have ever seen on screen!  His character in Rita, Sue and Bob Too was a racist, sexist, unemployable, drunken bully who when stood up to would simply cower amidst his own weak character and lack of bravado.  Club comedian Ross also appeared in classic British TV drama Our Friends in The North as Daniel Craig vicious alcoholic father and also on stage in plays by Chekhov and Coward.

Articles, Short films

FIRST TOUCH CHARITY VIDEO PRODUCTION by PAUL LAIGHT

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FIRST TOUCH – CHARITY VIDEO PRODUCTION

First Touch are a brilliant charity who work with St George’s Hospital to support premature babies and their families.

I was asked by Suzanne and Angela from First Touch to help make a short video to promote their cause.  I was so happy to help. It was a very low-budget effort but it encapsulates the highs and lows of life on the hospital ward while thanking those who donate and work for the charity.   Here is the video we made:


Please do check out their website: http://www.first-touch.org.uk/ They are AMAZING!

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