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SIX OF THE BEST #8 – GAME OF THRONES’ MOST EVIL VILLAINS

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SIX OF THE BEST #8 – GAME OF THRONES’ MOST EVIL VILLAINS

I’ve been enjoying the hell out of re-watching all the seasons of Game of Thrones and once again I take a look at six of the best things from HBO’s adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s amazing literary fantasy epics!  Game of Thrones has its fair share of nasty pieces of work so here, in my opinion, are the worst of the lot!

**CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS – SEASONS 1 – 6**

CERSEI LANNISTER – LENA HEADEY

The quote, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” was never more appropriate where Cersei Lannister is concerned. Brilliantly portrayed by Lena Headey her spite and evil is borne out of a sense of injustice; having been overlooked for leadership due to her gender by her father and the sexist nature of the time. This, I think, is forgivable if she wasn’t so bitter and twisted towards the likes of Tyrion (Peter Dinklage), Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner) and Margaery Tyrell (Nathalie Dormer) and didn’t openly revel in their suffering. Her plots aren’t always successful though because having given power to the ‘Faith Militant’ her plan backfired and she had to do the ‘Walk of Shame’. Having said that her revenge on the High Sparrow and his lot for this was, you have to hand it to her, explosive and devilishly realised.

CRASTER – ROBERT PUGH

Craster was Wildling pig of a man who was not only raping his own daughters for pleasure but using the male offspring as White Walker sacrifices in order to maintain his own safety. I understand that in desperate times desperate measures are required but to incestuously rape your own kin and farm them off to the deadly enemy takes the cake. Ultimately, he got his bloody comeuppance at the hands of another violent thug, the double-knifed traitor Karl Tanner (Burn Gorman). Having said that Tanner was just as vicious and having taken Craster’s Keep, he got a sword through the mouth from the heroic Jon Snow (Kit Harrington).

JOFFREY LANNISTER – JACK GLEASON

This snivelling-out-of-incest-born-cowardly-prick was a complete arsehole from the first episode. In true pantomime villain style, you could hear the screams of delight across the TV audience when he was poisoned at his own wedding in Season 4. He bullied all those around him that were weaker including the much maligned Sansa Stark and butchered prostitutes without a care in the world. What made this sister-brother-bastard-offspring even more odious is he was a complete coward too. He bottled it at the Battle of Blackwater and when he had the chance to show mercy for Ned Stark, gave the order for his decapitation. What a c—t!

LORD PETYR BAELISH – AIDEN GILLEN

With the voice of a hypnotic snake ‘Littlefinger’ is a very dangerous man indeed. In fact, he’s arguably the most evil of the lot as his plotting is virtually invisible and yet done in plain sight. A true Machiavellian he manipulates everyone using spies, soldiers, servants and prostitutes to do his watching and listening. His crimes are legion and include:  turning on Ned Stark to favour the Lannister’s; helping the Tyrell’s poison Joffrey to turn on the Lannister’s; pushing madwoman Lady Lysa Arryn to her death through the Moon Door to benefit himself; gaining Sansa Stark’s trust before finagling her into marrying the complete bastard Ramsay Bolton; and then turning on the Bolton family by taking the Knights of the Vale to defeat them. In short: he’s a brilliant and fiendish tactician up to the end of Season 6 that is, when he finds further rivals stopping his path to the Iron Throne.

MELISANDRE THE RED WOMAN – CARICE VAN HOUTEN

The Red Woman is a constant threat to all characters throughout the seasons of the show. She uses her committed fervour to the Lord of the Light, and her sexual wares,  to suck the life out of the people around her and bring bloody death to others. Essentially a human embodiment of the Succubus creature she gets her claws into Stannis Baratheon (Stephen Dillane) and convinces him the fire has named him the one and true King. Only after Stannis’ daughter is burnt at the stake as a sacrifice and Stannis is killed in the Battle for Winterfell does she admit she may have got it wrong?!? Having previously killed Renley Baratheon with black magic;  leech-raped Gendry (Joe Dempsie) for his blood; done for Stannis; she then turns her attention to Jon Snow. Indeed, even though she had brought him back to life he banishes her for the witch and jinx that she is.

RAMSAY BOLTON – IWAN RHEON

Beginning in some ways like a Northern Joffrey, the bastard Ramsay Snow was introduced as a possible ally to Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen), only to sneakily turn the tables and in fact reveal himself to be Theon’s captor. Unlike Joffrey he is cunning, as he proved getting information out of Theon, and actually a fierce fighter and killer. While he genuinely backs up his psychopathy with violent acts his means of killing people is gruesome to say the least. The Bolton’s do not take prisoners and instead skin their foes alive. While Ramsay delights in not only feeding his enemies to the dogs and sexually humiliating poor Sansa, he also cut Theon’s cock off in one of the most sickening acts of violence. In a TV show that is always imaginatively near-the-knuckle when it comes to torture this was utterly sickening. Sansa’s revenge on Ramsay has to be one of the most satisfying moments in the show’s history.

Game of Thrones, Six of the Best, Television

SIX OF THE BEST #7 – GAME OF THRONES: SCENE STEALERS!

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SIX OF THE BEST #7 – GAME OF THRONES: SCENE STEALERS!

Game of Thrones is one of the biggest literary and TV phenomena of recent years. It has entered Western cultures’ psyche offering a glut of: plotting, death, sex, class-divide, war, fantastical beasts and devilish sorcery!  I think the main strength lies though in the wonderful writing that stems first from George R.R. Martin’s behemoth tomes and the incredible production values of the show. Plus, the casting, acting and directing is more often than not better than most cinema offerings.

With Season Seven almost upon us I have been re-watching the show on Sky Atlantic and decided to run a few blog items over the next few weeks dedicated to Game of Thrones.  Today, I choose six characters that for me have excelled in essentially supporting roles and usually end up stealing scenes from the main characters. One could argue that some of these are now main characters, however, in an ensemble cast I consider Tyrion, Daenerys, Cersei, Jamie, Arya, Sansa, Bran, Jon Snow, Varys and – due to his heavy plot machinations – Petyr Baelish etc. to arguably be the main characters. Well, of the ones who are still alive that is!

**CONTAINS SPOILERS**


BRONN – JEROME FLYNN

“Give me ten good men and some climbing spikes. I’ll impregnate the bitch.”

Bronn initially appeared in the first season and championed for Tyrion Lannister when he faced certain death in the Eyrie. Subsequently his Northern working class “charm”, philandering and brilliant fighting skills have provided many scene-stealing moments as Jerome Flynn presents a likeable and honest sword-for-hire-killer to a tee.

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JAQEN H’GHAR/THE FACELESS MAN – TOM WLASCHIBA  

“Help was not promised. Only death. Give a name, any name.”

Another assassin but this time one that is more mysterious and fantastical. Jaqen first appeared as a “tutor” of death and magical helper to Arya as he aided her escape from a Harrenhal bolthole. Subsequently, we saw nothing of him until seasons 5 and 6 when he takes Arya into his Braavos school for assassins and teaches her to become a “Faceless Man”, well women, or person of non-face and non-gendered persuasion.

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SANDOR “THE HOUND” CLEGANE – RORY McCANN

“Any man dies with a clean sword, I’ll rape his fucking corpse!”

He may have a burnt face and rotten murderous soul but I love the Hound. First seen as part of the Lannister’s sworn swords he bailed at the battle of Blackwater due to the wildfire burning bodies, ships and the horizon. After which he became a Ronin, walking the land and attempting some kind of symbolic redemption. Left for dead by Brienne of Tarth (who should be on this list) we thought we’d never see him again. But in the last season he was back; swearing, murderising and spitting out brutal one-liners with disgusting joy!


WALDER FREY – DAVID BRADLEY

“Stark, Tully, Lannister, Baratheon. Give me one good reason why I should waste a single thought on any of you?”

The brilliant character actor David Bradley plays the nastiest, grim, old, sexist, racist, murderous bastard perfectly. You are both squirming in shock and then grimacing in horror at the words which leave his gnarled mouth. Of course, Robb Stark and his mother will never forget Walder Frey as he was the host at the infamous Red Wedding; which has a reception no one will ever forget.

YARA GREYJOY – GEMMA WHELAN

“Anything with a cock is easy to fool.”

Sister of the tragic Theon Greyjoy, Yara is the one with the proper balls in the family. Her character is first seen in Season 2, when from the start she tricks her brother with an incestuous practical joke. Yara impresses with her no nonsense attitude, intelligence and fearless confidence throughout as Gemma Whelan instils her character with a playful, yet fierce and probably psychotic depth and determination.

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YGRITTE – ROSE LESLIE

“I’ll cut your pretty cock right off and wear it round me neck.”

Ygritte was a feisty, fiery but sharp player who belied her Wildling roots to develop a passion and love for Jon Snow amidst the cold landscape beyond the wall.  Initially taken prisoner by Jon she turns the tables and eventually the two become entwined. Even watching today the chemistry between the two actors on-screen is very powerful as Rose Leslie brings real passion to the role. Moreover, their relationship also propels Jon’s softening in attitude toward the Wildling people; ultimately forging a powerful alliance.

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Articles, Doctor Who, Six of the Best, Television

SIX OF THE BEST #6 – ACTORS TO PLAY THE NEXT DOCTOR WHO!

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SIX OF THE BEST #6 – ACTORS TO PLAY THE NEXT DR. WHO!

In my occasional series called Six of the Best, I select six of something or other which I like the best. So here goes with six of the best actors who I personally would love to play the next Doctor Who!  Obviously, they won’t play the Doctor at the same time but if they were chosen they would be great choices.

As a big Doctor Who fan I reviewed the show many times on this blog and the next choice of everyone’s favourite time-traveller will be an interesting one. The new showrunner will be Chris Chibnall of Broadchurch fame so I look forward to his choice. The bookies odds are currently:

Latest Doctor Who Betting

Phoebe Waller-Bridge – Evens
Natalie Dormer – 4/1
Kris Marshall – 5/1
Tilda Swinton – 5/1
Michaela Coel – 7/1
David Harewood – 8/1
Richard Rankin – 10/1

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Personally, I’m not warming to any of these choices other than Tilda Swinton that is. So, these are my preferred choices:

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REECE SHEARSMITH

The star of:  The League of Gentlemen (2000), Psychoville (2009), Inside No. 9 (2014), Chasing Shadows (2014) and many many more, is my number one pick. He has the humour, versatility and dark spirit needed for the role of Doctor!

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OLIVIA COLMAN

Given her experience of working with Chris Chibnall on Broadchurch, Colman would be an appropriate choice. She has a wealth of acting roles behind her in both comedic and dramatic roles and is just a brilliant actress.

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HELEN McCRORY

An actress of immense quality and charisma, McCrory would bring a sophistication and Gothic heart to the role of the ancient Gallifreyan. She has also been a villain in a previous Doctor Who episode but I can forgive her given she has an excellent acting CV.

Rory-Kinnear-Doctor-Who

RORY KINNEAR

He was bookies favourite in 2013 before Capaldi got the gig. While Capaldi has put in some fine performances I still think Kinnear would have been better. He has great acting experience, vulnerability, intelligence and steel which could serve the role well.

Doctor-Who-Into-the-Dalek-Zawe-Ashton

ZAWE ASHTON

Fleabag star Phoebe Waller-Bridge has been offered up and would be an okay choice but if the producers wanted to be adventurous then Zawe Ashton is a better pick in my view. She’s funny and quirky and has a cool irreverence as seen in the comedy Fresh Meat.

Neverland

RHYS IFANS

The laidback Welsh actor has been delighting us for years with his insouciant performances in indie and blockbuster movies. He can play intelligent, complex and simple characters; but it’s his sly wit and stoner charm which I think can take the Doctor in an interesting direction.

Anyway, they are my choices. Here’s a video from What Culture with their picks:

Articles, Cinema, Six of the Best, Television

‘SIX OF THE BEST’ #5 – BRITISH ACTRESSES

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‘SIX OF THE BEST’ #5 – BRITISH ACTRESSES!

In my occasional series called Six of the Best, I select six of something of the other which I like the best. So here goes with six of the best British actresses working today and who, of late, have put in some sterling performances which have very much impressed me.

There are some great actresses not on the list such as: Judi Dench, Kate Winslet, Keeley Hawes, Rosamund Pike and Helen McCrory but while they are awesome the performers listed have stood out for me slightly more.

**MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**

CHARLOTTE RAMPLING

Rampling has had a wonderful career which began in the sixties and had continued powerfully ever since. Some of my favourite performances of hers include the films: The Verdict (1982), Angel Heart (1987), Lemming (2005) to name but a few. For someone so beautiful she owns a fragile vulnerability which she puts to great effect. Having impressed me in the second season of TV drama Broadchurch, I found her role in bittersweet drama 45 Years (2015) to be so compelling. She just owns this story of a woman “celebrating” forty-five years of marriage, shook up by revelations from her husband’s past.

EMILY BLUNT

Has Emily Blunt ever given a bad performance? I don’t recall one! She is funny, attractive and tough when she needs to be, but I think her greatest asset though is portraying sensitive vulnerability amidst steely determination. This is borne out in roles such as Looper (2012), Sicario (2015) and the movie potboiler Girl on the Train (2016). The latter had mixed reviews yet Blunt was terrific in a complex performance which really drew you into her characters’ plight. She’s funny too as seen in her scene-stealing role in The Devil Wears Prada (2006).

IMELDA STAUNTON

Imelda Staunton gave one of the greatest acting performances I have ever seen when I witnessed her live in the stage show Gypsy.  It was a barnstorming delivery of passion, energy, singing and pathos.  Staunton has been giving her all for many years now and was, in my view, the best Harry Potter villain ever as the venal Thatcherite matriarch Dolores Umbridge. Her stage and screen CV is second-to-none and in Vera Drake (2004) she gave one of the most subtle and emotional performances ever committed to celluloid.

OLIVIA COLMAN

The Night Manager (2016), Hot Fuzz (2007), Tyrannosaur (2011), Broadchurch (2013), The Lobster (2015), Rev (2010 – 2014)), Doctor Who (2010), Peep Show (2003 – 2015)  and much more film and television work confirms Olivia Colman as a doyenne of her field. She can play funny and sad and angry which is to be expected from such a talented actress but Colman does everything in such a memorable manner. No matter who she portrays they’re always believable and played with a warmth, toughness and humanity. Her character in Tyrannosaur (2011) was so heartfelt and empathetic you wanted to reach into the screen and rescue her.

SHERIDAN SMITH

Having seen Sheridan Smith in the stage musical Funny Girl I was left very impressed. As Fanny Brice she had big shoes to fill in a role previously owned by the incomparable Barbara Streisand, and fill them she did with aplomb. She was indeed funny and spirited and has a fantastic vocal range; a voice which was put to great use in the not-bad Cilla Black biopic called, surprisingly enough, Cilla (2014). Yet, her acting as Charmian Biggs in TV drama Mrs Biggs was exceptional as she gave her all as the long-suffering wife of train robber Ronnie Biggs. All-round she can do comedy, drama and sing brilliantly too.

THANDIE NEWTON

Thandie Newton has been working very successfully in all manner of film and televisual work for years now. I recall her debut appearance as the object of Noah Taylor’s desire in the film Flirting (1991) and showing spark in the crime noir Young Americans (1993). Subsequently Newton has worked regularly in Hollywood and was a standout performer in ensemble drama Crash (2004). However, her recent performance in HBO’s post-modern sci-fi-Western Westworld (2016), confirms Newton as one of the most compelling actresses around. Her character work as Maeve Millay is a masterclass of rage, pathos and devious delight.

Articles, Cinema, Reviews, Six of the Best

SIX OF THE BEST #4 – FILMS TO AVOID WHILE EATING

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SIX OF THE BEST #4 – FILMS TO AVOID WHILE EATING

My blog strand of collating six of the best of something or other continues with a breeze through a series of disgusting, vile and horrific movies that it’s best not to watch while eating.

**CONTAINS SPOILERS & DISGUSTING IMAGES**

BRAINDEAD (1992)

Peter Jackson’s monstrous rom-zom-gore-fest is an utter joy from start to finish. A rabid monkey bite sets in motion a series of flesh-eating zombie attacks as carnage ensues with lawnmowers, death, intestines, blood and dog-eating mothers in 1950s New Zealand.

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EVIL DEAD (1981)

Sam Raimi’s debut feature is a low-budget horror treat.  But be warned as Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell) battles his friends and girlfriend — who all become demons — the bloodletting, decapitations and violent deaths are enough to put you off your pudding.

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THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (2010)

We all like to connect with people socially but this film takes the cake. Watch and learn as an insane German scientist stitches two American tourists and a random Japanese bloke together. Both grim and hilarious at the same time and gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Eat shit and die!”

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ICHI THE KILLER (2001)

The site of a man cutting off his own tongue is enough to have you reaching for the remote; as Takashi Miike’s off-the-wall-manga-gangster-mash-up really tests the boundaries of taste. My favourite image is a sliced face slamming and sliding down the wall following one particularly offensive fight scene.

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RATS (2016)

Morgan Spurlock’s brutal documentary takes us on a whistle-stop tour of the globe visiting New York, Reading, Rajasthan, Cambodia and so on. Amidst the rat-catching, baiting and butchering we are also witness to scientific examination of rats. Most disgustingly the eating of rodents in Vietnam is considered a delicacy. Gross!

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TRAINSPOTTING (1996)

While Irvine Welsh’s classic novel was a dark, violent, black-humoured yet grim portrayal of heroin addiction in Edinburgh; Danny Boyle’s adaptation entertainingly presents it as a fast-paced-rock-and-rolling-drug-lifestyle-sketch-show! Nevertheless, with scenes that involve: the dirtiest toilet in Scotland; Tommy’s toxoplasmosis squat death; and Spud’s shit being flung across the breakfast table, make this one to avoid while tucking into a Friday night curry with your partner.

Articles, Cinema, Six of the Best

SIX OF THE BEST #3 – MOVIE NUTTERS

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SIX OF THE BEST #3 – MOVIE NUTTERS

In the third episode of this occasional strand I have decided to have a look at some good old cinema nut-jobs. This was precipitated by a recent watch of David Lynch’s classic Blue Velvet (1986) which features an incredible performance from Dennis Hopper as Frank Booth.  He is, of course included here, along with five other movie loons.

**CONTAINS SPOILERS**

FRANK BOOTH – BLUE VELVET (1986) – DENNIS HOPPER

“Why are there people like Frank?” asks Kyle Maclachlan’s Jeffery Beaumont midway through David Lynch’s dark journey into the underbelly of small town America. Why indeed? We do not know why Frank is the way he is: he just is!  The drugs, shouting, swearing, sado-masochistic and psycho-sexual violence stem from the dark recesses of Lynch’s imagination; while Hopper’s tour-de-force performance is chilling, scary and at times, inappropriately laugh-out-loud funny.

ANTON CHIGURH – NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (2007) – JAVIER BARDEM

You’d have to be a person of the highest confidence or crazy insane to sport the haircut Chigurh/Bardem does in this wonderful Coen Brothers’ adaptation of the Cormac McCarthy’s neo-Western novel. Chigurh is not just a stone-cold killer but also one with a strange amoral compass and set of rules. Also, his reliance on chance and the flip of a coin as to whether someone lives or dies is even more scarier than the deadly bolt-gun he uses to dispatch his victims.

JACK TORRANCE – THE SHINING (1980) – JACK NICHOLSON

The slow demise of the isolated writer driven to kill by the demons of the past are brilliantly captured in Stanley Kubrick’s stylish and memorable Stephen King adaptation. Nicholson cornered the market on explosive larger-than-life masculine roles but here he was far more unhinged. His performance as Jack Torrance is both scary and funny, as writer’s block, the ghosts of the Overlook Hotel plus his own depression weld to send him over the edge and into lunacy and murder.

ASAMI YAMAZAKI – AUDITION – (1999) – EIHI SHIINA

To describe Asami as a nutter is a bit harsh on nutters really. Because, cutting your victims limbs, digits and tongues off, before placing them in a hessian sack is pretty extreme. A calm psychopath, Asami literally chills to the bone; however, her victims are carefully chosen men who she enacts tortuous revenge on for historical sexual abuse. This is a scary horror film that is both stomach-churning and thematically strong, delivering a damning indictment on the casting couch culture.

MAX CADY – CAPE FEAR (1991) – ROBERT DE NIRO

Robert Mitchum’s performance in the original Cape Fear (1962) deserves a mention, as does his powerhouse and menacing turn as Harry Powell in Night of the Hunter (1955); who almost made the list too. Nonetheless, DeNiro’s Cady is a marvellous cinematic creation rooted in pure bible-belt-Southern-preacher-avenging-devil-hatred. All muscles, tattoos and a sense of violent vengeance he pursues Sam Bowden (Nick Nolte) and his family with an insane zeal; terrorizing them with unforgettable physical, sexual and murderous threat.

ANNIE WILKES – MISERY (1990) – KATHY BATES

Here is another Stephen King loon for your consideration. Kathy Bates deservedly won an Oscar for her barnstorming performance as Annie Wilkes. She is a charismatic lunatic who takes the ‘I’m your number one fan’ maxim to the extreme; with a mania stemming from a skewed understanding of the world which is not helped by her seeming isolation. When James Caan’s author kills off her favourite literary character hell hath no fury like a mad-woman scorned! Carlsberg don’t do torture: but if they did!

Articles, Cinema, Six of the Best, Television

SIX OF THE BEST #2 – MY MOST HATED CINEMA & TV CHARACTERS by PAUL LAIGHT

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Following on from listing six of my favourite British sitcom episodes recently, I thought I’d have a bit of fun venting about some of the most irritating characters I have witnessed on film or TV screen. I mean did the writers intend for them to be annoying pricks or was it the actor or direction or performance or all of the above?  Anyway, whatever the weather, its great fun kicking the boot into these annoying arseholes!

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

ALL THE KIDS (EXCEPT CHARLIE) – WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (1971)

I’ll ignore the Tim Burton version of this story and concentrate on the original adaptation of Roald Dahl’s classic morality adventure. If you don’t know the story a reclusive sweet-maker lures kids to his factory on the promise of a “golden ticket” competition win. There’s Teutonic glutton Augustus Gloop; weirdo TV addict Mike Teevee; demanding, harpy-bitch Veruca Salt, upper-class, gum-maniac Violet Beauregarde and finally humble Charlie Bucket. Each kid, Charlie aside, is a spoilt bastard and each satisfactorily gets their just desserts, as Dahl’s fantasy punishes the rich and greedy ones to maximum audience delight.

FERGEE – JUDGE DREDD (1995)

I could basically include ANY character portrayed by Rob Schneider but I reserve special hatred for this monstrosity. I mean the film Judge Dredd was pretty bad, however, the action and design were bearable and Stallone – despite removing the protective mask – was kind of okay. YET the tone of the film was all over the shop! None more so than when acting cyst Rob Schneider pops up as an unofficial comedy sidekick for Dredd.  Yeah – like that was a staple of the cynical, dystopian and violent world the 2000AD comic was known for right!  No, I didn’t think so!  Morons!

JAR JAR BINKS – STAR WARS: PHANTOM MENACE etc. (1999)

Jar Jar, let’s face it, is an obvious choice but he is a complete cunt!  The worst crime is, as the comic relief, he is NOT funny!!  Moreover, his accent is unintelligible and he suffers from looking completely stupid. The Phantom Menace (1999), while having some fantastic actors (Liam Neeson, Natalie Portman and Ewan McGregor), great action and superior baddie in Darth Maul, was let down by plodding plot, soggy politics and dreadful dialogue. Yet, Jar Jar Binks was the rancid cherry on top of a rotten cake. Not only that his character was also portrayed in an abominably stereotypical fashion seeming to echo the racist early-Hollywood representations of black characters that were seen as un-heroic, dumb and figures of scorn or fun.

JOFFREY BARATHEON – GAME OF THRONES (2011 – 2014)

The prostitute-murdering-Sean-Bean-killing-bullying-maniac-twat was clearly intended to be the pantomime villain we loved to hate from the start. But, like Malfoy from Harry Potter his character and the slimy performance from Jack Gleeson, he, for me eventually became a character I just hated without any enjoyment. I mean, I know he was sadistic in his treatment of Sansa Stark and mocking of Tyrion but he was also a bottle-job when it came to battle, perfectly encapsulating the worst kind of royal family traits. Moreover, Gleeson’s soulless face, clipped speech and acting on its’ own made me want to drag him out of the television and strangle him. Of course, Joffrey would eventually get poisoned at his own wedding and much joy was had from his demise from pretty much everyone who has ever watched the show.

RUBY RHOD – THE 5th ELEMENT

Luc Besson’s imaginative and colourful sci-fi-action epic had much to enjoy, notably: the performances of Milla Jovovich’s innocent alien, Bruce Willis’ cynical taxi driver and Gary Oldman’s terrific pantomime space villain. The action comes thick and fast and the production is a joy to watch. However, just over halfway through Chris Tucker’s performance of media whore Ruby Rhod takes a massive shit on the film; one it almost never recovers from. I mean, he’s loud, high-pitched, ridiculously dressed and THINKS HE’S FUNNY!  What was Besson thinking – who knows!? Even in an over-the-top-colour-clashed-sci-fi-action-romance-extravaganza Ruby Rhod was a stain and travesty of a character!

WHITNEY SOLLOWAY – THE AFFAIR (2014 –  )

Clearly this spoilt upper-middle-class New York teenager was intended by the writers to be a right royal pain in the arse. She throws sweet-sixteen tantrums of the highest order throughout and her nasally high-pitched voice grated me so much that I actually stopped watching the show during the second season. While the actress Julia Goldani Telles performance is excellent, the character was just too manipulative and psychotic to ever get my sympathy. Even amidst a whole host of privileged, narcissistic first-worlders Whitney Solloway took the biscuit and in the end I hated her so much I wished she’d been killed to death!

Articles, Comedy, Six of the Best, Television

SIX OF THE BEST #1 – BRITISH SITCOM EPISODES

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SIX OF THE BEST #1 – BRITISH SITCOM EPISODES

My blog has a few little running series on it such as My Cinematic Romance where I list some of my favourite filmy things; also my monthly review round-up called Screenwash. Moreover, in the annals of time and space there’s my Fix Films Retrospective short film reviews plus two critical series called Under-rated Classics and 100 Not Out!  The last two I need a few more entries, however, I now introduce another blog thing called Six of the Best! Basically, it’s another list but this time six of the best of “something”.

We all need a laugh in these times of global conflict so to cheer myself up I thought about some classic British situation comedies which are genuinely funny every time I watch them.  We’ve produced so many amazing comedy shows over the years it’s good to look back in celebration. Obviously, there are SO many episodes to choose from but here are a mere six which make me piss myself laughing every time.

**MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**

BLACKADDER GOES FORTH – “GOODBYEE”

“Bugger!”

The classic historical sitcom that went from the Dark Ages up to the horrors of World War One had so many legendary episodes brimming with cracking gags, characters and a who’s-who of comedy talent.  The final episode is one of those rare programmes which makes you laugh your brain off throughout but has you in tears by the final frame. Blackadder, George and Baldrick, having attempted to avoid the “big push” finally reach the end of the line:

BOTTOM – “GAS”

“Why didn’t we just pay our gas bill?”

Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson’s juvenile-slapstick-low-life-loser-flat-share-comedy was a wonderful guilty pleasure which essentially updated their “Dangerous Brothers” persona for the 1990s. Basically, Eddie and Rich have been “borrowing” next door’s gas when they get rumbled a whole host of stupid mayhem ensues.  Gas was the second ever episode and is definitely my favourite as it contains so many great lines, catchphrases and violent set-pieces. R. I. P comic genius Rik Mayall!

FAWLTY TOWERS – “COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS”

“You can see the sea. It’s over there between the land and the sky.”

Connie Booth and John Cleese’s superlative farce set in a raggedy Torquay hotel contains some of the most brilliantly complex comedy-of-error-plots I have seen. This is especially evident in this episode when the obnoxious stick-insect that is Basil Fawlty meets the hard-of-hearing-customer-from-hell Mrs Richards (Joan Sanderson). A serpentine narrative involving antique vases, secret bets, stolen money and Basil mistakenly using morons Manuel and the Major as alibis leaves you dizzy with laughter. Cleese is on especially good form as Fawlty goes on full sarcasm overdrive throughout.

I’M ALAN PARTRIDGE – “WATERSHIP ALAN”

“Earlier on I put in a pound of mashed-up Dundee cake.”

Steve Coogan’s wonderful comedy grotesque filters the embarrassing foot-in-mouth-media-enunciations of Alan Titchmarsh, Tony Blackburn and Richard Madeley; giving us one of the great comedic creations of modern times.  Having been sacked by the BBC Alan found himself self-unemployed and searching for a second BBC series, all the while staying in a Travel Tavern on the outskirts of Norwich. In Watership Alan he manages to upset the Farmers Union while challenging Cliff Thorburn for a corporate video job and becoming obsessed with ‘Ladyboys’. Safe to say things don’t go to plan in a hilariously warped comedy that features Simon Pegg and genius Chris Morris.

THE OFFICE – SEASON 1 – EPISODE 4 – “TRAINING DAY”

“Sometimes the complaints will be false!”

Gervais and Merchant’s brilliant sitcom of embarrassment and character observations is built around the antics of deluded goateed manager and “King of Cringe” David Brent.  In this episode Wernham Hogg invite an external contractor to deliver a customer service training session, and of course, Brent sabotages proceedings and brings the Trainer to the edge of a nervous breakdown. From the bizarre roleplay, failed stand-up gags and excruciating guitar-playing Brent uses the session to showcase his perceived ability as an entertainer. A true classic this also features Tim and Gareth doing battle over the “Chicken, Grain and Fox” riddle. Priceless!

STEPTOE AND SON – “UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS, UPSTAIRS DOWNSTAIRS”

“You never know in this house. Some of the things he puts in them.”

This episode from the eighth and final season followed a familiar family formula of pitting Wilfred Bramble’s irascible old git Albert Steptoe against his long-suffering son, Harold.  Harry H. Corbett portrayed the son with a tragic hangdog pathos and more often than not his attempts to better himself or escape the totting business are doomed by his father’s devious shenanigans. In Upstairs Downstairs, Upstairs Downstairs, Harold must tend to his father’s every whim as he is laid up with a slipped disc; obviously it’s not long before Harold is being exploited by his father. Galton and Simpson wrote some of the greatest comedies ever committed to radio and television and caught working class hardship and family rivalry perfectly with brilliant scripts full of pain, tragedy and humour.