Tag Archives: Six of the Best

SIX OF THE BEST #34 – AMAZING FILMS I DO NOT LIKE!

SIX OF THE BEST #34 – AMAZING FILMS I DO NOT LIKE!

Are there box office hits, cinematic phenomena and damned fine films loved by critics which you DO NOT like? That isn’t to say they aren’t great films, but subjectively you just don’t enjoy them? I mean some people dislike much of Christopher Nolan’s work! What!? Okay, Interstellar (2014), was not his best, but hey that’s just my opinion. It’s all just opinions.

Now, I like to be positive on this blog and have critical balance when writing my reviews. In fact, some films I choose not to review because I don’t want to slag something off which is just not for me. I also generally avoid reviewing films I consider terrible because I prefer to avoid negativity.

Thus, this article is not about having a pop at classic films or saying they are over-rated for attention. The truth is – I AM IN THE WRONG HERE! But I think it’s interesting to examine why I don’t like these six excellent films. After all, many talented people have worked passionately on them, so in no way do I want to disrespect their craft. Which is why, I repeat, I am wrong!

*** CONTAINS SPOILERS ***



AVATAR (2009)

James Cameron is one of the greatest genre filmmakers of all time. He is also a technological innovator and genius. In Avatar (2009), he truly topped himself in regard to creating not only the beautiful world and inhabitants of Pandora, but by using never-seen-before motion-capture cinematic techniques. Moreover, the film would go on to make over $2 billion at the box office, so I’m not worthy enough to criticise Avatar (2009). But the script is incredibly flat and derivative. The lead characters are mostly unlikable and I genuinely found the amount of blue on show irritating to the eye. Worst of all is the hypocrisy that a film this expensive, and with a carbon footprint this big, is critiquing capitalist corporations who destroy the natural world.

Avatar' once again highest-grossing film of all time at the box office

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999)

Yes, this horror film had one of the smartest and ingenious marketing campaigns of all time. Yes, I should be praising it because I love horror films and also get excited when indie filmmakers hit the big time with low budget films. But, The Blair Witch Project (1999) has no real story as it just a clever series of jump scare set-ups. More importantly, it has no characters you can root for as they are so stupid and obnoxious. Worst of all it wasn’t scary or suspenseful. That’s because I wanted the bickering trio to die. I mean, who throws away a map. They were morons! Plus, this expertly crafted movie committed the worst crime of all – bringing back the found footage film! Now, don’t get me started on THAT cinematically moribund subgenre!

Film Review] The Blair Witch Project (1999) — Ghouls Magazine

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977)

What’s not to like about an award winning, box office smash directed by arguably the most brilliant director of a generation? Furthermore, Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) also contains some of the most breath-taking and ground-breaking special effects. So, with the Oscar winning cinematography and majestic score, why don’t I enjoy this Steven Spielberg sci-fi masterpiece? In short, I cannot stand the choices Richard Dreyfus’ character makes. I did not believe his journey. Why would you want to go to space and connect with aliens? Why would you abandon your family and head off on some frantic search for something from the sky? Eat the mash potato! Don’t make mini-mountains out of it. I get that there is pseudo-religious metaphors going on, but why were we meant to care? Amazing spectacle, but devoid of emotional connection and an ending that didn’t make much logical sense to me.

Film Review: Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) – Kieran's Thoughts,  Previews & Reviews

THE MASTER (2012)

I really love films and documentaries about cults. Especially where religion is used to control human beings and make them do crazy things. What possesses another person to want to control others? They are often extremely charismatic and talented people too, so always fascinating to explore. In Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master (2012), and while this has been denied, he studies the relationship between a lost soul drawn to a movement that may or may not be a reflection of Scientology. Freddie Quell (Joaquin Phoenix), a World War II veteran is pulled toward Lancaster Dodd (Hoffman), a leader of a cult known as “The Cause”. But not much happens other than Quell having a series of breakdowns amidst post-traumatic stress and alcoholism. Anderson is one of the great humanist and existential filmmakers working today, but The Master (2012) was too impenetrable and alienating for me.

The Master (2012) | MUBI

MULHOLLAND DRIVE (2001)

I am a massive fan of David Lynch’s oeuvre. He is one of the most incredibly idiosyncratic and original voices is cinema. Lynch is visually, aurally and cinematically able to deliver both coherent and surreal narratives that blow your mind and heart out. After bamboozling audiences with Lost Highway (1997) he delivered an emotionally moving road movie in The Straight Story (1999). After that I’m not sure what was in his damn fine coffee when Mulholland Drive (2001) was devised. My understanding was it was a rejected filmed pilot which transmuted into a feature film. Crossing many genres including thriller, detective, horror and romance, the narrative splinters via many characters in Hollywood, notably Naomi Watts portraying an actress experiencing a career and identity crisis. That’s just the tip of an extremely enigmatic iceberg and the bottom line was I just didn’t care. Critics love Mulholland Drive (2001) and it often tops best film lists. I have absolutely no idea why.

David Lynch's 'Mulholland Drive' Explained


THE WITCH (2015)

My filmmaking and screenwriting career is more a hobbling hobby these days. Other than not getting on the right career train, or getting lost in the smoke of an overcrowded creative platform, one main reason I may not have succeeded is because I arguably don’t have an original vision. Maybe I am just too generic. One cannot say that about Robert Eggers. This is one truly talented filmmaker. His debut film The Witch (2015) was a low budget folk horror masterpiece which became a sleeper hit at the box office. Set in 1630s New England, it is an authentically designed and brilliantly acted period drama with Anya Taylor Joy standing out. But aside from the historical accuracy of the language, locations and costumes the story was SO slow. I realise The Witch (2015) is an arthouse classic, but I just did not connect with the characters and was bored all the way through. There are some occasional scares, but it’s more a film which draws horror from underlying dread and enigma rather than the classic horror style I prefer.

The Witch — Linda Muir

SIX OF THE BEST #33 – MEMORABLE FILM DEATHS! ***Contains spoilers and graphic violence***

SIX OF THE BEST #33 – MEMORABLE FILM DEATHS!

Who doesn’t like a great movie death? Well, people who abhor violence and gore on the screen. But I am not one of those people. Thus, if done right in terms of combining emotional context and cinematic imagination, there’s nothing I like more than revelling or lamenting a character’s end in fine bloody fashion. Lastly, I hear you ask why no Zahler, Scorsese, Cronenberg, Miike, Peckinpah, Jackson, Fulci, Roth, Romero, Argento etc. on this list? So much death and only six make it, so please suggest any of the thousands I have missed off in the comments.

*** CONTAINS SPOILERS ***


ALIEN (1979) – “Do these eggs taste off?”

I think it may have been something Kane (John Hurt) ate or maybe something that ate him? Anyway, one of the most spectacularly surprising scenes ever still holds amazing power to this very day.


THE FURY (1978) – Separated at death!

This under-rated tele-kinetic thriller is a spiritual sequel to Carrie (1976). Adding a spy conspiracy plot to Amy Irving’s rites of passage character arc, it has a whip-cracking-pace and classic DePalma set-pieces. None more so than the explosive end of the baddie-in-black.


PSYCHO (1960) – Take a bath next time!

What more can be written about one of the most shockingly original scenes in cinema history? Not only did Hitchcock break all narrative rules killing off the main protagonist halfway through, he did it with one of the most ingenious uses of montage, music and murder ever.


PULP FICTION (1994) – The original “face-off!”

Marvin never saw it coming. But let’s face it – none of us did!


ROBOCOP (1987) – Toxic Wasted!

Whoever designed this action scene, no doubt Paul Verhoeven had much to say, delivered one of the most excessive demises in 1980’s cinema. The vehicle crash, the toxic waste, the melting bad guy, the steam coming off his body and the final disintegration are just cinematic perfection.


WILD AT HEART (1990) – Bobby Peru loses his mind!

David Lynch’s vibrant adaptation of Barry Gifford’s romantic thriller contains many colourful characters. Willem Dafoe’s Bobby Peru is a particularly nasty piece of work and he gets his comeuppance in an incredibly visceral and disturbing way!

SIX OF THE BEST #31 – FILMS INVOLVING ADMINISTRATION!

SIX OF THE BEST #31 – FILMS INVOLVING ADMINISTRATION!

Having worked in administrative roles most of my working life I thought it would be fun to consider six films which incorporate paperwork, or at least some element of office life, within their cinematic fabric. I’ve worked in industrial, corporate, retail, financial, legal, media and customer service environments. Moreover, I have also had some brilliant, some boring and some frankly awful jobs. Thus, it always pleases me when I can identify with characters and narrative elements that utilise office drudge and tasks. Thus, here are six of the best that do. If you can think of anymore please let me know.


That Moment In Brazil when Sam Lowry's air conditioning fails | by Louie  Hsiao | Medium

ARGO (2012)

The Oscar winning thriller is very exciting, even though much of the action takes place in U.S. Embassy, C.I.A. and Hollywood backlot offices. A great script and cast are wonderfully helmed by Ben Affleck, plus there are some expertly suspenseful scenes throughout. My favourite is the sequence where the Iranians piece together shredded paper to find out the identities of the Americans they are chasing. It’s painstaking work, but somehow extremely suspenseful too.


Argo – Ben Affleck's gripping CIA thriller sends reality into a tailspin |  Ben Affleck | The Guardian

DARK WATERS (2019)

Todd Haynes superior legal thriller unveils a tragic series of events relating to environmental, chemical, legal and human corruption by the DuPont corporation. Mark Ruffalo’s dogged lawyer never gives up in the face of corporate greed and community murder and a load of paperwork. When he gets delivered boxes and boxes of files from DuPont’s army of lawyers I really wanted to dive into the screen and help him!


Dark Waters review: Mark Ruffalo takes up weary arms against a malicious  multinational | Sight & Sound | BFI

DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)

Double Indemnity was adapted from James M. Cain’s devious noir novella and found Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck plotting to kill her husband for the insurance money. As MacMurray’s desperate voiceover reveals the events of the story, we are pulled into a web of deceit and murder which shows human nature as greedy, vicious and unforgiving. Billy Wilder’s films often featured weak men in difficult situations and here I just love that the insurance industry is featured rather than the standard cops and private detectives in other film noirs.


FILM NOIR OF THE WEEK: Double Indemnity (1944) | Dostoyevsky Reimagined:  Blogs

OFFICE SPACE (1999)

Mike Judge’s under-rated black comedy is arguably the best film ever about working in an office. It features so many great scenes and loopy characters as Ron Livingston’s lowly software administrator just decides to stop trying! Rather than get sacked the management team see him as a free-thinker and he actually gets promoted. Perfectly catching the repetitious nature, absurdity and tedium of corporate life, one of the many hilarious moments involves the violent destruction of a printer by fed up workers.


17 Things to Look for the Next Time You Watch Office Space | Mental Floss

THE REPORT (2019)

Based on true events, the film forensically documents a period of U.S. history where Adam Driver portrays, Daniel J. Jones, a U.S. Senate staffer investigating the 2005 destruction of interrogation videotapes. He begins the work in 2009 and is faced with six million pages of CIA materials to work through. It soon, unsurprisingly, becomes an obsessive and ordered job for Jones and it takes him years to ultimately finish the report. Often C.I.A thrillers have car chases and shootouts, but this is an extensively researched drama set in enclosed offices, in meetings, in Senate hearings, at desks and computer screens; all with flashes of interspersing torture.



THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (1994)

Patience is a virtue they say, and Andy Dufresne shows it in spades; tiny little digging spades he uses to chip away at a tunnel over many, many years. This prison film benefits from a gem of a Stephen King story, plus Frank Darabont’s brilliant writing. Everyman Dufresne could be battered into submission by the rape, beatings, and incarceration he endures but his stubborn survival instinct pays off in a wonderful pay-off at the story’s end. I also loved how he used his skills as an accountant to get the guards on his side, utilising his bookkeeping abilities as part of his escape plan.


The Shawshank Redemption - Film | Park Circus

FILMS THAT GOT AWAY #12: THE DAY SHALL COME (2019) + SIX OF THE BEST #29 – CHRIS MORRIS THINGS YOU MUST WATCH!

THE DAY SHALL COME (2020) – FILM REVIEW

Directed by:  Chris Morris

Produced by: Iain Canning, Anne Carey, Emile Sherman

Written by: Chris Morris, Jesse Armstrong

Cast: Marchánt Davis, Anna Kendrick, Danielle Brooks, Kayvan Novak, Denis O’Hare, Jim Gaffigan etc.



Chris Morris is a bona fide genius. A natural prankster, a fearless satirist, writer, actor, producer, director and enfant terrible of radio, television and more recently cinema. He has been suspended by Greater London Radio and by the BBC and described by the Daily Mail as “the most loathed man on TV.” Which to me is a highly positive thing. Moreover, Morris is genuinely one of my cultural heroes and certainly one of the funniest artists to have graced the planet.

Morris’ latest cinema release is called The Day Shall Come (2019), and given I am such a fan of his work it did not make any sense why I have only just seen the film. Perhaps I had seen some negative reviews or maybe it was released at the same time as the London Film Festival in 2019? Thus, it meant I could not find time to watch it. Anyway, the story is somewhat of a mixed bag and definitely not as focussed or blisteringly funny as Morris’ prior directorial masterwork, Four Lions (2010). Centring on the idiotic efforts of the F.B.I’s terrorist taskforce to bring down targets that threaten United States security, operative Kendra Glack (Anna Kendrick) and her boss, Andy Mudd (Denis O’Hare) pull focus on Marchánt Davis as Moses Al Shabaz, an impoverished preacher, running the hapless ‘Star of Six’ commune. Moses, who is possibly bi-polar, is a likeable fool with delusions of grandeur, however, the FBI decide he is a threat and try to fit him up in many farcical scenes of entrapment.

There are funny moments and some delightfully bizarre dialogue exchanges. Furthermore, Davis excels in his role as the eccentric Moses and the under-used Danielle Brooks brings much needed humanity to her role as his wife. However, the film is full of mostly unlikeable and unlikely characters, meaning Morris’ satirical bullets rarely hit their target. Kendrick is miscast and while there are a few laugh-out-loud moments throughout, I just felt like the script was continually trying to squeeze square blocks into round holes. I even watched it twice to see if maybe I had missed something first time round. Goes to show even for a creative magician such as Chris Morris, certain tricks don’t always come off.

Mark: 7.5 out of 11


SIX OF THE BEST #29 – CHRIS MORRIS THINGS YOU MUST WATCH!

NEWSREADER: The main stories so far: Jimmy Savile drops dead at the Stoke Mandeville Boxing Day bash—but the patients are far from mourning.

CORRESPONDENT: The majority, if not all of them, are extremely relieved that he’s now dead, although I suspect that some of them will be sorry that he didn’t suffer a great deal more.

— The Chris Morris Music Show, 16 December 1994


While The Day Shall Come (2019) does not reach the dizzy heights of Chris Morris’ best output, it is still a highly thought-provoking critique of American law enforcement practices. Arguably though it misses more marks than it hits. Here are six of the best things that Chris Morris has been involved in and I urge you to try and find them on a streaming platform or on DVD or online somewhere. If you love obsidian black and controversial comedy then Chris Morris is your man!

CHRIS MORRIS RADIO SHOWS!

Morris’ creative career really formed on radio. He worked at Radio Bristol, Greater London Radio and made the The Chris Morris Radio Show on BBC Radio 1. He gained notoriety and was suspended from the BBC for announcing Conservative politician Michael Heseltine was dead. In fact, fake obituaries were one of his early favourite pranks. Later, Morris joined forces with another comedy legend, Armando Iannucci, to help create the seminal spoof news show called, On the Hour. The rest they say is history.




THE DAY TODAY (1994)

The Day Today was a TV comedy show that parodied current affairs programmes. Broadcast in 1994 on BBC2, it was created by Armando Iannucci and Chris Morris and an adaptation of the radio programme On the Hour. The genius and surreal satire The Day Today found Morris winning the 1994 British Comedy Award for Best Newcomer. The rest of the cast including Steve Coogan, Rebecca Front, Doon Mackichan, Patrick Marber and David Schneider were incredibly good too. I wonder what happened to them?!


BRASS EYE (1997)

Chris Morris took the ferocious journalistic character he created on The Day Today (1994) into Brass Eye (1997), with one of the most scurrilous and controversial works of television ever. Once again, Morris was lampooning current affairs shows and the often hysterical way the media sensationalise issues such as drugs, sex and crime. Morris fooled many celebrities and politicians during the filming of Brass Eye (1997), getting them to commit to absurd, but fake media campaigns. A 2001 special was planned but cancelled due to fear of further controversy and litigation against Channel 4.


JAM (2000)

Ever pushing the boundaries of radio and television genre form and style, Morris’ cult sketch show Jam (2000), is a truly dark and twisted experience. Unsettling and bleak it presented unconnected and surreal sketches, unfolding over an ambient soundtrack. Buried late at night on the Channel 4 schedule it was incredibly striking in style and content with a superb cast including: Amelia Bullimore, Julia Davis, Mark Heap and Kevin Eldon.


NATHAN BARLEY (2005)

This absurdist comedy found Morris working with another comedy genius in Charlie Brooker. Here they took inspiration from Brooker’s TVGoHome – a 2001 E4 TV show parodying television – as the focus of a fly-on-the-wall documentary called Cunt. With energetic fool and influencer Nathan Barley as the lead idiot, the sitcom delivered six delicious episodes which skewered hipster characters and pretentious Shoreditch-based culture. The cast included: Julian Barratt, Ben Whishaw, Richard Ayoade, Nicholas Burns, Claire Keelan etc. and Nathan Barley is a highly recommended comedy that seems as vital now as it did in 2005.


FOUR LIONS (2010)

Oh my word! How the hell this film did NOT get banned is something that still shocks me. It is one of the the funniest and controversial films ever about the darkest subjects, namely terrorism and radicalised Jihadis. How Morris and his co-writers, Jesse Armstrong and Sam Bain, managed to successfully satirise, demonise and humanise Muslim fundamentalists is beyond belief. The wicked script and unbelievably good performances by Riz Ahmed, Nigel Lindsay and Kayvan Novak help make Four Lions (2010) one of the finest socio-political comedies of all time. It’s hilarious and actually moving at the end as I pitied, recoiled and felt for these poor misguided fools. Deservedly, Chris Morris won the award for Outstanding Debut by a British Writer, Director or Producer at the BAFTAS in 2011.


SIX OF THE BEST #28 – KAFKAESQUE FILM NARRATIVES!

SIX OF THE BEST #28 – KAFKAESQUE FILM NARRATIVES!

According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, to describe a book or film or life situation as Kafkaesque relates to:

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) – a Czech-born German-language writer whose surreal fiction vividly expressed the anxiety, alienation, and powerlessness of the individual in the 20th century. Kafka’s work is characterized by nightmarish settings in which characters are crushed by nonsensical, blind authority. Thus, the word Kafkaesque is often applied to bizarre and impersonal administrative situations where the individual feels powerless to understand or control what is happening.”

Moreover, it especially relates to characters and events which could be described as:

“. . . relating to, or suggestive of Franz Kafka or his writings, especially having a nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or illogical quality.”

Such narratives are abundant throughout cinema history and in this occasional strand I would like to suggest six of the best films which could be described as ‘Kafkaesque.’ Interestingly, I have not selected the purer surrealist work of say David Lynch or Luis Bunuel, but concentrated on films dominated by characters utterly lost to a nightmarish fate, bureaucracy or a scenario entirely not of their making. I guess one could draw parallels with the world’s current situation in regard to COVID-19, as many of us have found ourselves powerless and at the mercy of bureaucracy, sickness and unknown external forces. However, I am not going to dwell on that; just keep going and hope we all get through safely to the other side of it.



AFTER HOURS (1985)


THE HUNT (2012)


I, DANIEL BLAKE (2016)


NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959)


THE TENANT (1976)


THE TRIAL (1962)

SIX OF THE BEST #26 – ENNIO MORRICONE (R.I.P 1928-2020)

SIX OF THE BEST #26 – ENNIO MORRICONE – (R.I.P – 1928-2020)

“If you scroll through all the movies I’ve worked on, you can understand how I was a specialist in westerns, love stories, political movies, action thrillers, horror movies, and so on. So, in other words, I’m no specialist, because I’ve done everything. I’m a specialist in music.” Ennio Morricone


As if 2020 couldn’t get any more dramatic, one of the greatest musical composers and dramatists ever known has passed away. Ennio Morricone, rather incredibly, wrote the scores for over four hundred films and television works. He also managed to write well over one hundred classical pieces. To say Ennio Morricone was a prolific genius is somewhat of an understatement.

Morricone won six BAFTAs, eleven Nastro d’Argento, three Grammy Awards, three Golden Globes, six BAFTAs, ten David di Donatello, two European Film Awards, the Golden Lion Honorary Award and the Polar Music Prize. In 2007, he received the Academy Honorary Award for his outstanding commitment to cinema. Moreover, he was also nominated for a further six Oscars. Lastly, Morricone had to wait until 2016 to receive his only competitive Academy Award for the haunting score to Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight (2016). For Morricone to receive only one Oscar for musical composition is astounding and proves once again there is no justice in the world.

A meagre blog piece from a London-based hack will never be enough of a tribute to a composer who worked in every cinematic genre and with an incredible array of famous and infamous filmmakers. Notables include: Sergio Leone, Oliver Stone, Warren Beatty, John Carpenter, Quentin Tarantino, Sergio Corbucci, Dario Argento, Duccio Tessari, Sergio Sollima, Henri Verneuil, Bernardo Bertolucci, Mauro Bolognini, Giuliano Montaldo, Roland Joffé, Don Siegel, Mike Nichols, Brian De Palma, Barry Levinson and many more companies including advertisers, singers, recording artists and fashion designers. Morricone even found time to compose the 1978 World Cup theme song.

Thus, as a tribute to one of the greatest cinematic artists I have selected six of Morricone’s best film orchestrations. Although given his brilliance and spectacular output, one could certainly pick many more; even sixty of the best!! Riposa in pace, Ennio, il maestro!




THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY (1966)



THE GREAT SILENCE (1968)



ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (1968)



ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA (1984)



THE MISSION (1986)



THE HATEFUL EIGHT (2016)


SIX OF THE BEST #25 – FILM PLOT-HOLES!

SIX OF THE BEST #25 – FILM PLOT-HOLES!

One of the main reasons I watch films is because I love a good story. I especially like working out the ins and outs of the plot lines too. So, it stands to reason that some films may have inconsistencies in their story or even plot holes. I would define a plot hole as a gap in the story which remains unexplained by the writer or writers. Sometimes these can spoil the film, but more often than not it can add to the enjoyment. They may in fact be known to the writers, however, they may have left it as an enigma for the audience to work out. Either that or the writers made a mistake or they could not be bothered to, or were unable to close the hole. In fact, they may be hoping we don’t notice or care.

There are so many films out there and I’m sure one could nitpick holes in most stories. Here I have picked out six of my favourites. I have chosen well known films so as to differentiate between good and just plain bad storytelling. Moreover, I have also omitted horror films where people just make stupid decisions. Likewise fantastical, surreal and dream logic narratives are avoided. Lastly, the major Marvel franchise plot hole is skimmed. You know the narrative hole that occurs in the stand alone entries. E.g. in Spiderman: Far From Home (2019), if the world is being threatened why don’t the other Avengers help poor Peter Parker? Oh, they’re conveniently busy. . . hmmm. Anyway, here are six of the best plot holes I like. If you can think of more please let me know.

***CONTAINS MASSIVE SPOILERS***



KING KONG (1933 / 1978 / 2005) – how did they get King Kong back to New York?

This question is not always one that is brought up as an obvious plot hole. However, think about it. Kong is captured on Skull Island, but is suddenly revealed in New York. How did they manage to find a boat big enough to carry him to America? And what if he woke up? He would destroy any ship carrying him with a yawn and stretch. Plus, because we do not SEE him being transported a massive hole in the narrative occurs.


How King Kong quadrupled in size since 1933

HALLOWEEN (1978) – who taught Michael Myers how to drive?

It chills the bones when Donald Pleasance’s Dr Samuel Loomis finds on a dark evening on October 30th, the day before Halloween, his most feared patient, Michael Myers has escaped from a maximum security facility. Myers has stolen a car and sped off into the night. The big question is, given Michael was six when he committed the murder, how the hell did he learn to drive? Obviously given Myers is a manifestation of pure evil, he somehow mastered driving through psychic force.



STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE (1979) – the V’Ger probe would be coded as Voyager!

Talking of William Shatner masks, Star Trek is a wonderful science fiction television series and film franchise. It’s loved by many and given the numerous narratives involving time travel and alien species there are no doubt more plot holes in there. I mean the number of aliens who talk English and look human is quite something. However, in Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979), there is a major plot hole involving the “V-Ger” probe. Indeed, the entire twist of the plot centers around “V-Ger” actually being “Voyager,” as demonstrated by the corroded name plate on the probe. It seems weird though that nowhere in its programming (or anywhere else) did Voyager have its name recorded. It would be like if a label of a computer, say “Dell”, had the “D” covered up, the boot-up screen would not read, “ell” during post, it would still read, “Dell”! Thus, the plot hole is entirely illogical, Captain.



THE TERMINATOR (1984) – why not just destroy the time machine and stop Kyle Reese going back?

There are loads of plot queries in James Cameron’s classic sci-fi thriller. The one I like the most is more paradoxical than plot hole, but similarly this illustrates flaws in Skynet’s overall plan. Given Skynet and The Terminator have detailed files on everyone, why didn’t they know Kyle Reese was John Connor’s father? If so, just destroy the time machine to stop him going back. If killing Sarah Connor in the past stops John from ever being born, perhaps killing Kyle or stopping him time travelling would have the same effect.


SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (1994) – when Andy escapes, how does he put the poster back so perfectly?

This is one plot hole I love and is in fact, given Andy Dufresne’s incredible struggle to escape, one you can certainly understand. I mean, thematically speaking, Andy is coded as a spiritual Christ-like figure throughout the film. It’s very subtle, but it is there. Thus, perhaps, he had some divine intervention during his escape. He definitely earned it. Lastly, I also love that it is literally a plot hole and Andy escaped right through it.



SIGNS (2002) – why did the Aliens raid a water-based planet when it hurt them?

While the director has had his fair share of critics, I generally enjoy most of his early films and some of the more recent ones. Signs (2002) is a fantastic sci-fi thriller with themes of faith, family and alien incursion. The major hole is the aliens have to be incredibly stupid to want to invade a planet that is 70% their biggest weakness. However, as some have pointed out, it wasn’t an invasion, but a raid to get some people. However, given people are made up of water and water is in Earth’s atmosphere, perhaps Shyamalan should have made their weakness alcohol or even actual acid. Still a very entertaining film though.



SIX OF THE BEST – FILMS OF A TRAIN – VIDEO REVIEW

SIX OF THE BEST – FILMS OF A TRAIN

As you know The Cinema Fix is a website for all film and TV lovers everywhere. It’s a mix of reviews, articles, essays, news and thoughts on new and classic releases. It is intended to be honest, irreverent, funny and hopefully intelligent.

In this period of social distancing I have now found the time to make some short video film review content. This video article is a fun piece highlighting our favourite films set on a train.



Written by: Paul Laight
Narrated by: Melissa Zajk
Music: Classic Train – Simple Sound – No Copyright

Check out our YouTube site: www.youtube.com/c/FixFilmsLtd



Film/Trailer credits:

1) The Cassandra Crossing (1976) – AVCO Embassy Pictures

2) The Lady Vanishes (1938) – United Artists

3) Murder on the Orient Express (1974) – EMI Film/Paramount Pictures

4) Snowpiercer (2013) – Radius TWC/CJ Entertainment

5) The Taking of Pelham 123 (1974) – United Artists

6) Train to Busan (2016) – Next Entertainment World



Check out our sites here:

www.thecinemafix.com

www.fixfilms.co.uk

www.youtube.com/c/FixFilmsLtd

SIX OF THE BEST #23 – FILMS ABOUT FILMMAKING

SIX OF THE BEST #23 – FILMS ABOUT FILMMAKING

It’s no surprise there are an abundance of films about the actual process of filmmaking. Firstly, if you follow the idea of “writing what you know” literally, a filmmaker, screenwriter or director will certainly have first hand experience of this. Secondly, and most importantly, is that the film industry is full of rich possibilities in terms of drama, action, tragedy, romance and comedy. Lastly, cinema down the years is replete with imaginative, tough, evil, spoilt, egotistical, eccentric and frankly insane individuals working in the film industry.

Therefore, over the course of cinematic history there have been many great films about the movie-making business. I personally love the sub-genre and probably could’ve have chosen a top twenty. Indeed, the following could also have been picked too: 8 1/2 (1963), Dolemite is My Name (2019), Shadow of the Vampire (2000), Sullivan’s Travels (1941), Barton Fink (1991), State and Main (2000), Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019), Hugo (2011), Living In Oblivion (1995) etc. However, as is the case with this feature, I’ve selected just six of the best.

**CONTAINS SPOILERS**



BOOGIE NIGHTS (1997)

“Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? That it’s amateurs and not professionals? I’m a filmmaker, which is why I will never make a movie on tape.” Jack Horner

Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Ricky Jay, and Jack Wallace in Boogie Nights (1997)

THE DISASTER ARTIST (2017)

“Not closed set. Open set. Life is not closed set! I want everyone to see!” Tommy Wiseau

James Franco in The Disaster Artist (2017)

ED WOOD (1994)

“Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better. Hello. Hello.” Ed Wood

Johnny Depp in Ed Wood (1994)

THE PLAYER (1992)

“I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process. If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we’ve got something here.” Griffin Mill


SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN (1952)

“Why bother to shoot this film? Why not release the old one under a new title? You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” Cosmo Brown

Singin' in the Rain (1952)

TROPIC THUNDER (2008)

“First, take a big step back… and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don’t know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you’re trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you’re thinking, you’d better think again!” Les Grossman

Robert Downey Jr., Ben Stiller, Jay Baruchel, Jack Black, and Brandon T. Jackson in Tropic Thunder (2008)

SIX OF THE BEST #22 – CHRISTMAS FILMS!

SIX OF THE BEST #22 – CHRISTMAS FILMS!

Once again the festive season is upon us. Thus, the over-privileged first world will buy stuff they don’t need, drink and eat more than humanly possible, and perhaps even celebrate the birth of the son of God. As you may gather, being a miserable cynic, I’m not a massive fan of Christmas, but it is a lovely time to try and be nice to people, take time off from the day job and watch even more films and television.

Watching films and not being at work is definitely my favourite thing about Christmas, so I thought it fun to have a look at what I consider six of the best Christmas films. How do you define a Christmas film? I would say the film should not only be set at Christmas, but also invoke a sense of the Christmas spirit, evil or otherwise. It should also contain Christmas themes or even some kind of moral within the narrative. Therefore, Die Hard (1988) is NOT a Christmas film. Here, in my humble opinion, are six that most definitely are! Happy holidays!


die hard 20th Century Fox

A CHRISTMAS CAROL / SCROOGE (1951)

“Well, then, I’ll just swallow this and be tortured by a legion of hobgoblins, all of my own creation! It’s all HUMBUG, I tell you, HUMBUG!”


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BAD SANTA (2003)

“I beat the shit out of some kids today. But it was for a purpose. It made me feel good about myself. It was like I did something constructive with my life or something, I dunno, like I accomplished something.”


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ELF (2003)

“We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.”


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GREMLINS (1984)

“First of all, keep him out of the light, he hates bright light, especially sunlight, it’ll kill him. Second, don’t give him any water, not even to drink. But the most important rule, the rule you can never forget, no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs, never feed him after midnight.”


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IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)

“You see, George, you’ve really had a wonderful life. Don’t you see what a mistake it would be to throw it away?”


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KRAMPUS (2015)

“Saint Nicholas is not coming this year. Instead, a much darker, ancient spirit. His name is Krampus. He and his helpers did not come to give, but to take. He is the shadow of Saint Nicholas.”


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