Tag Archives: Movies

MAGNIFICENT 007 – MY FAVOURITE BOND FILMS

MAGNIFICENT 007 – MY FAVOURITE BOND FILMS

SPECTRE (2015) is out in UK cinemas soon and I’m anything but original so I’ve listed my 7even favourite Bond films.  Selections are in alpha-male order!

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CASINO ROYALE (2006)

I can watch this film over and over again. Daniel Craig’s debut is a lean-mean fighting machine in a movie which begins with a quick stylish black and white opening and then moves onto his pursuit of cold-blooded banker Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen). Mikkelsen steals the acting plaudits from Craig as the reptilian poker player while Eva Green is a great foil too. In fact, Vesper Lynd is my favourite female Bond lead. Her character is no pushover and more than matches Bond verbally during their first meeting. Later in the story she saves his life and breaks his heart adding an emotional depth to their relationship. The gambling, double-crosses, parkouring, humour, hand-to-hand combat and explosive action all combine to make this a 007 classic.

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (1963)

Dr No (1962) established all the classic Bond tropes including: memorable opening guitar riff; iconic gun barrel scene; glamorous women and locations; spy plots; action and stunts; megalomaniac villains and henchmen and women. Indeed, From Russia With Love had TWO great baddies in Red Grant (Robert Shaw) and Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya).  Klebb was a nasty piece of work while peroxide-blonde Robert Shaw was a muscular adversary for Bond and their claustrophobic fight on the train was brutal and full of suspense. Sean Connery really nailed the role of Bond as he did in the debut film.  He sails through a complex plot dispatching enemy agents with unruffled hair, an insouciant glare and meaty hooks, as evil crime syndicate SPECTRE are foiled by Bond with formidable style and power.

GOLDENEYE (1995)

Pierce Brosnan is a very good Bond. He’s very much like IKEA; reliable, spacious, sort-of-attractive and open on Sundays. His debut effort is his best and has him going up against a dastardly double-agent and series of Russians hell-bent on starting World War III.  The spectacular bungee-stunt opening is awesome and Famke Janssen is brilliant as thigh-crushing nemesis Xenia Onatopp, while Alan Cumming provides some laughs as a cowardly computer nerd. Of course, however, it’s the action that rules including self-destructing trains, stealth helicopters and Bond smashing a tank through KGB military headquarters in St Petersburg.  What’s NOT to love about that?!

GOLDFINGER (1964)

Everything about Goldfinger is first rate. The cat-and-mouse plot twists between Bond and Goldfinger (Gert Frobe) who do battle over cards, golf and then during the devilish Fort Knox heist. It also features a cracking villain in Odd-Job who uses a murderous, metal hat to vanquish foes and a great Bond girl in the cheekily-named Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman). Last but not least we have one of the most iconic deaths of any character with Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton) being suffocated by pure gold for her treachery.

Moreover, while there was an element of gadgetry in prior Bond movies such as flick-knife shoes, in Goldfinger the ingeniously designed Aston Martin was a school-boy’s wet dream. The car was pimped up with: ejector seat; bladed wheels; revolving number plates and missiles and became an iconic toy to own.  Such awesome technology and the deathly gas and the lasers which almost kill Bond would become the kind of staple devices used throughout the franchise. Indeed, ‘Q’ played by Dennis Llewellyn would feature in nearly all the Bond films right through to the Brosnan era. Finally, this definitely has the GREATEST Bond theme song EVER!  Probably!

LIVE AND LET DIE (1973)

It was a toss-up between this and The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) for my favourite Moore instalment.  While his final films were a stain on the franchise where he was out-acted by his wig Moore provided a twinkle and humour to the role as well as those saintly looks.  In Live and Let Die he comes up against the ridiculously named Mr Big and the film invokes the Blaxploitation archetypes and clichés of the day. Interestingly, Clint Eastwood was approached as a possible Bond before Moore got the role and Eastwood’s persona would certainly have matched the Harlem and New Orleans settings.  I found Jane Seymour very intriguing as the “white witch” Solitaire and the voodoo and tarot themes lent themselves well to the drama.  Live and Let Die has a cracking theme tune from Wings and is a fast-paced delight; with a move away from spy-games to more of a 70s-cop-show-crime-thriller-with-jokes-vibe.

THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (1987)

Dalton was an under-rated Bond; a tough, serious man more akin to the Fleming vision. He only did two films but this is still one of my favourite stories as it feels like a proper thriller rather than a series of set-pieces and chases which, by-the-way, I don’t mind too. A globe-trotting Bond, as usual, smashes round the world to places such as Bratislava, Vienna and Afghanistan tracking blonde cellists, assassins, Soviet defectors, KGB villains and the general air of cold war espionage stuff make this a formidable story. It also has a great pop theme song from A-Ha and the poster is a genuine classic.  Many of the recent Bond posters have been subdued and monochromatic but this one just bursts with fireworks and colour; much like the movie itself.

ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE (1969)

George Lazenby was the David Moyes of the Bond series inasmuch as he had an impossible job following an icon. He’s as wooden as a park bench but his physicality proves formidable in the hand-to-hand combat scenes and O.H.M.S.S is a cracking film with some great drama and a tragic romance. The opening sequence is full of smashing action and ended with a knowing one liner: “This never happened to the other guy!” Telly Savalas is a decent enough Blofeld but Peter Hunt and his directorial units steal the show with some wonderful chases especially in the snowy landscapes of Switzerland. It memorably has TWO theme tunes plus THAT ending where Bond suffers heartache; an especially brave scene to include in a populist franchise.

BLOODY VALENTINE: EXTREME DATE MOVIES

YOUR BLOODY VALENTINE:  EXTREME DATE MOVIES

**THIS THING CONTAINS CLIPS, SPOILERS AND VAGUELY SATIRICAL SEXIST LANGUAGE**

It’s Valentines soon and being an unoriginal hack I started thinking about my favourite romantic movies.  30 seconds later I got bored so decided to write a different kind of list. So, if you want an alternative to the usual Valentines-clichéd-cosy-rose-petal-drenched-chocolate-card-Love-Actually-rip-off-Day – here you go!

Basically, it’s an excuse to list some great movies with elements of extreme love. And violence. And horror. My kind of cinema.


SIGHTSEERS (2012)

The perfect date movie. I promise.  There’s romance, soul-searching and bloody murder.  This is one of the best British films released in a long while. I hate it when writers say a movie is “something meets something”  but this is like Mike Leigh’s Nuts in May meets Kalifornia, kind of.  I hate myself for saying that. Just watch it.


SECRET IN THEIR EYES (2009)

This is one of the best films you haven’t seen.  Or maybe you have. It rightly won the Best Foreign Film Oscar in 2010.  It has so many great elements: a vicious murder mystery, obsessive pursuit, revenge, political espionage and a painfully touching love story at its’ heart.


AUDITION (1999)

As date-movies go this is a real screamer.  What starts as one man’s attempt to find a wife via his own creepy version of the casting couch is turned into a violent proto-feminist-carve-up-par-excellence!  I’ve dated a couple of nutters before but not like this. You won’t look at a hessian sack the same way again.  Or cheese wire.  Or open your eyes ever again after seeing  this.




TEETH (2007)

Mixing comedy with coming-of-age movies this is a brilliant little horror film.  A girl with Jaws in her vagina starts cutting men’s cocks off!  Who said romance was dead eh?  She did – that’s who!


IRREVERSIBLE (2002)

Just one of the most brutal and beautiful love stories ever told on film.


MISERY (1990)

I still think that if Annie Wilkes hadn’t been such a violent mentalist her and Paul Sheldon may have had a chance of romance.  But she was and love for Kathy Bates and James Caan’s characters was not to be. Shame. Despite the torture they were such a lovely couple.


HAROLD & MAUDE (1971)

A story for outsiders as young man, slightly off-kilter Harold, falls in love with free-spirited octogenarian, Maude. It’s a wonderfully dark comedy full of brilliant scenes especially Harold’s fake “suicide” attempts. But the chemistry between Bud Cort and Ruth Gordon is really touching. Ruth Gordon proved in this and Rosemary’s Baby what a great actor she was.


SNOWTOWN (2011)

Your boyfriend or girlfriend are giving you the hump and you want to pump and dump them.  What do you do?  Sit them down while you watch this movie while sharpening your carving knife collection.  You won’t see them for dust!  Jokes aside this Aussie serial-killer movie is one of the darkest films I have seen in a long while. Brutal, grim and worst of all based on a true story.


EVIL DEAD (1981)

You go to a cabin in the woods hoping to get a bit of sugar from your girlfriend  and accidentally raise a Canderian demon using the Book Of The Dead.  Don’t you just hate it when that happens!  I know I do!


LES DIABOLIQUES (1955)

Watch this French film and Psycho in a double bill and you’ll never ever go into the bathroom again.  This is an absolute classic and they genuinely do not make them like this anymore.   Mainly because it’s in black and white, oh, and it has a story, suspense, plot-twists and doesn’t rely on green-screen-CGI-Superhero-blowing-shit-up!


THE SKIN I LIVE IN (2011)

As retribution goes Antonio Banderas’ vendetta in this takes some beating.  It’s a slow burner but the pay off is incredible as Pedro Almodovar movie combines: science-fiction, horror, melodrama, psychological torture etc. to create a date movie you won’t forget.   Banderas is a revelation in a role which turns his usual romantic leading man status on its head as he seeks transformative revenge.